Healing oneself  - versus authority            BeiYin
    A few days ago I had an accident. When driving the folk truck, the motor was heating up because the belt of the water pump was bad. I was loading a truck and the driver was in hurry because he had to reach the boat. There were only two piles left to be loaded and so even knowing that there was something wrong, I continued to finish.
But then with a loud explosion the pipe of the water system burst and the extremely hot steam and water hit my bare foot. They finished loading the last pile by hand and the truck went off just in time to reach the ferry.

     They wanted to bring me to the hospital because big part of my foot was burned and the skin was blustering. I denied to go to a hospital or to see a doctor. I had enough of these and was fed up. I was feeling sick just thinking about doctors. I said I would treat myself with Aloe Vera and ozone. And that's what I did and felt good with it. I should have rested and put my foot up but as often things come together, my horse got serious problems with breathing. This was showing up before but now it got so worse that we didn't know what to do. We gave him showers then it was much better, but the heat in those days is unbearable and so he has to stay in the stable, were it heats up in the afternoon, in spite of three ventilators. 

     With Vets I have the same experience like with doctors and if possible I don't want to let them get near to my horse. But when the horse seemed to suffer so much then we called the Vet. When the vet came she said the same as the vets three years ago:
"This horse is old and finish". With other words: "It's not worth to do anything, the best is to sacrifice him..." 

    I answered her that this is about what the doctors also had told me about myself two years ago when I tried to find healing for the Fibromyalgia. They had said that there is no cure, they can't do anything and that I have to live with it. With other words: that I have to die with it. 
I was fighting against these authoritarian opinions and I searched and found a way to heal myself. Now I had to fight again against the authority of this vet. 

     Finally she examined my horse and diagnosed that his lungs were nearly closed. Because I had told her about the symptoms at the telephone, she had brought a treatment, which she left. This was very expensive and pure chemicals. I ask her if there would be side effects. She said if it doesn't work then after ten days the dosage must be doubled, but this probably either would work because the lungs would have developed resistance. Then there would be nothing left to be done. 

      This was said in such an authoritarian way, that there was nothing to add. (And of course no personal word for the person who was obviously worried because of the suffering of his horse...) But when she had left I reflected about it. One thing was important: The vet said that maybe the sawdust we are using for his bed could be the cause for his breathing problem. Now I remember, that it got much worse when we changed the carpenter and this one was mainly using tropical wood, which might cause the problem. 

     I just had the accident with my food one day before and it was hurting, but at the same evening I cleaned the stable completely of all sawdust and put dry compost instead. This really felt much better. 

     Then the whole night I was fighting against the feeling of helplessness against the authority of the vet. In the morning I made my decision: NOT going to use this chemical treatment for one week and trying alternative ways first.

     I had put some chinese essential oil on the nose of my horse and this had also helped him to breath better. Even smelling pretty strong he liked it. So  what else might help him? Then Betsy remembered that many years ago, when one of her twins was born with breathing problems, she had to give him a special massage every day for several months. This had helped him and he was breathing normally then. 

     So Betsy tried the same massage on my horse, what is quite a difference doing it with a baby. But it worked! After fifteen minutes of massage he was breathing nearly normally! And after this he was starting to eat with good appetite, what hasn't happened the last few weeks. So we decided to do this massage twice a day and also a massage of his muscles with a vibration massager. 

     This was three days ago and it really works. He is much better now, he eats a lot and claims more if he is still hungry. But I haven't seen him for the last days because my foot was hurting so much that I could not move at all. I had to stay in bed all the time. I could not even put down my foot then the pain was just too strong. So I was forced to take a total rest. I treated the food with ozone and Aloe Vera and it was healing quite well, just that the food needed to be kept up in the air. 

     Not being able to move at all is quite an exercise for me - not even being able to use the computer! It happened that there was a professional nurse around and I welcomed her help. But then I saw that a nurse is just functioning as the hands of a doctor, with the same authority. She told me what to do. First she wanted to give me some pain killer and then some antibiotics. When I told her that I never take any pain killer she didn't even listen and I could not explain why I don't take antibiotics because of my immune system, the candida, etc. She just left angry. Is this a professional behavior? I don't think so. Can't she see the helpless person, suffering and dependent on some help. After three days of laying in bed all the time my back hurts. I am sweating and I am bored. 

     So today at least I can sit some time at the computer and write this and it feels good. This afternoon I will visit my horse...

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