How to end one's Nightmare of Suffering?
   Quote: "Suicide is the #1 killer of people with fibro and cfs..."

Wanting to save lives is a valid motivation for one's doing. That's not my intention in the first place. I want to give information so that a sick person can change their view and attitude and that hope and senseless suffering can turn into a creative happening that can be a true healing and growing process. 

Reading testimonials from people with Fibromyalgia, Cancer, Aids, etc. and then the fact that I myself went through the experience of Fibromyalgia, gave me the understanding why people kill themselves. 

Constant pain takes a lot of energy up to one's limit. My experience was that strong pain over a long time is changing ones personality. When the suffering person can't find help through the established health system except with pain killer, that give a release, but the body system also needs energy to deal with those chemicals, then the physical and emotional energy goes down more and more. No wonder that deep depressions are the inevitable result. We are experiencing the lack of knowledge of medical doctors and how they still are keeping their posture of authorities. The suffering person is in need to find help somewhere and feels impotent to get out of this dependency, not knowing what to do or where to go, this is squeezing one into a position without any hope to get out of it. There is nothing left: traditional religious beliefs don't help and philosophical or spiritual concepts doesn't seem to have any value anymore. That obviously seems to be the end.

I was lucky enough not needing to go through all of these steps. Yes, I had unbearable pain and also an extreme lack of energy. But I never took any painkiller and I never had depressions, although some mood swings. I had learned in my early years to bear strong pain without the help of chemicals, so for example the dentist could take out the nerve of a tooth without anesthesia and I could bear this. Of course it was no fun but I could take it. So when I went through the pain of Fibromyalgia, I was able to deal with it. As I have written at my Web site testimonial: 'I see disease as a challenge within one's personal growing process. One is NOT a victim of 'bad' circumstances. Disease is part of a healing process that goes much further and includes all levels of one's being...'

So this attitude gave me the base together with a long meditation practice not to fall into depression and still seeing it as a challenge, although going through all the other described steps of suffering and feeling impotent caught in a health system that can't offer any real healing.

I had the advantage not to use my last energy dealing with a depression, I used it to do a step out of the dependency from the medical system. I had tried enough with treatments to finally understand that they couldn't help me in a creative way. Maybe just keeping  me alive for some time, but this was not enough for me: I preferred to die but I didn't want to depend any longer on a system that was treating only symptoms without knowing anything about the cause, not even being interested to look for it. So this situation gave me enough motivation to search myself to find a treatment, - and so I started.

For about eight years I had suffered from symptoms of Fibromyalgia. Medical doctors and healers couldn't find any organic cause and treated me into the blue, with some release as long as the different treatment lasted but the pain and other symptoms were coming back when the treatment stopped. But about all this I have written at my Web site; now I want to point out what could be a key to get out of the desperate situation when one is near to commit suicide because there is no hope and every thing seems totally without sense. 

This situation is the challenge to make a decision: To step out of dependency! Not only from medical authorities but out of dependency in general! Well, one will need to start somewhere. So one might start to quest whatever shows up: any thought, anything one was told. Like: "There is no cure, you have to live with this". NO! This is not true. But there is no use that I tell you this, you have to find it out by yourself. At the moment of decision you need to give yourself a chance, just by leaving it open to what will happen! You don't know and you don't need to know. This is the first step and this is enough for the moment.

After this initial step you will have gained already enough energy to look ahead and you are open to receive some information to go on. Whatever comes, you will need to decide, you will need to select and then to do what feels right for you. Even if you don't know anything about medical conditions, you may start to trust your own feelings. Worse you probably can't get, so you may as well take the risk. There is enough valuable information out there and for sure also a lot of traps, so in the first place trust yourself, although being careful with it...

Does it make sense to you? Can you dare to ask questions? Not to me or any authority, that for sure I'm not, but ask yourself, then you will see that the answer will show up. But without question there will be no answer. Remember: when you were a child you were asking a lot of questions, this was a sign that you were growing up. Then you probably didn't ask anymore, whatever the reason might have been. Now again is the moment to grow, so...

You might ask yourself  what sense such severe diseases as Cancer, Aids, Fibromyalgia, etc. might have. Yes, it is violent and destructive, but isn't it often the case that destruction gives space for something new? A severe disease is obviously destroying one's personality with all one's future plans and self images. Maybe this is the sense? Maybe here we can find the essential meaning of being sick and also the way to heal ourselves? So that something new can grow, that goes beyond the worn out and stuck form which had developed until now? Might this be the real healing, more important than just the healing of one's body? Can you sense that something new is opening up? You might use this new attitude as a 'working concept' and you will see that it makes sense after only very few experiences with this surprising creative view...

I hope this writing has inspired you enough that you want to do something about your condition. Your new attitude might be the most important, then you will be able to do some practical steps like doing a cleansing, a check up of the way you feed your body and mind, how you can get out of the vicious cycle of stress and more. Some hints you will find at my Web site:

Question: How can one end one's nightmare of suffering?
BeiYin: By waking up! Getting out of one's limited, narrow minded personality!

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