Match MakerWhat is behind the cute teddy bear?
Searching for kindred spirits? Quest for soul mates. Newest technologies 'Online dating' brings us together?
   This page is the report about my investigation and experience. I wanted to find out if 'match services' can really bring people together. I started this investigation because we urgently needed new people for our community. Here I will tell what we did and what happened. We subscribed to several 'match services'. As many things in the Internet, this is a real challenge and full of surprises of all kind. You will see! 

   The first I did after subscribing was making a 'profile', this is for free. I wanted to look for 'friends' and not for a partner for me personally; but I had to make a personal profile to complete the 'terms of use'. It didn't feel right that I was using myselves as a bait to attract people, but there was no other way and then thinking about it we came to the conclusion that - as we are all singles - we might as well find a partner although not looking for one in the first place...
   I tried to make a description which shows clearly from the beginning what my intention is, but this doesn't fit into the rules and not into the search function of the match services and so I had to deal with the personal aspect. Well, why not?
   I investigated about various match maker services and choose a few which seemed to be the most sophisticated. I spend a lot of energy on the profiles not to violate the strict rules but also to give enough information about our community. So there was one which seemed to be the best and I spend the most time with this service. They accepted my profile and I paid for the first month of membership. Without paying there was not the possibility to contact people by email only with a 'wink', so then this person could email back being a member who had paid. But I couldn't contact anybody, so then I decided to pay for one month. The first three days were a trial and I could leave not being charged. I had selected about 20 ladies out of several thousand, by looking at their photos and then reading about 200 profiles. This was a three days full time job, but for sure not boring! Now because I had paid I could send an email to all those ladies, then waiting for a response. They all seemed to be possible as members for our community; they were meditating, engaged in some healing or artistic activities and all also quite beautiful, what of course is no fault. The first responses arrived showing that there obviously was a misunderstanding: They wrote that they don't want to be part of an organization, etc. So I made clear that we are not any kind of organization - not even too much organized in our daily activities as we relate to daily circumstances mostly spontaneously - and so I send another email to all of them making this clear. Nothing, no response at all. Then after the third day of the trial there came three responses, looking interesting for the community as possible members. But then out of the many others, there appeared one lady who indeed attracted me personally and I felt a strong connection, but she had not yet answered...
   The next day I received an email from the match service administration and they told me that they had to cut me off the service because of violation of their rules, without refund of my payment. No further explanation! One week of work lost and also lost all contacts, because all the email I had received were send through the service without private direction. OK, fifty $ for this lesson and experience was still pretty cheap. But that I had lost the possibility to connect with the few who had already responded and then the impossibility to contact this 'special lady' really bothered  me, apart of having wasted so much time in the search. But I didn't give up. I had a few little hints from the profile of this lady, so I searched the Internet... And after an intense investigation I found her... enough to contact her directly. Meanwhile she has answered my email. Every thing is still open, but it looks promising! 
   I wrote several email to the match service administration, asking for an explication why they had cut me off, not being aware that I had violated any of their rules; but I never got an answer...
In the last few days I have investigated a lot about match making services and the whole subject looks pretty disappointing. It seems that all of them are exclusively money orientated. They are using all kind of tricks to make people pay, by promising a lot and using the need of people. 
   An other example: I filled out my profile with a match service with a beautiful name; then I had to make a long 'personality test' and with this 'scientifically developed partner comparison' they wanted to select the perfect partner for me out of the many thousands of women. When I had done all those tests they send me an enthusiastic sounding email with a description of my perfect match. And indeed if I would be a person with a desperate need for a partner, then I would have paid immediately to be able to contact this perfect woman. But I am not and so I could stay cool and being able to look at it critical. The thing was, that they give the beautiful description, but they don't show a photo and they don't tell anything about the physical of this person. The photo they show only after payment. There were very little hints and of course no name to be able to find this selected person. But her profession was mentioned and a tiny hint more  and with this I searched the Internet and it was possible to find her. Not that easy but after a couple of hours I had her name and also a photo and with this there was showing up the trick of this match service: This lady was as wide as tall and had a face like a balloon. So even her character might be wonderful and her activities highly idealistic... forget it! So this lesson was gratis and I saved some bucks and all the people reading this might also save their money.
   At the moment we are investigating about 'spiritual match maker' but it looks like that they are in the same way as the others in the first place after money. We will make a list of all the services and give our critical comment. But first I will consult my lawyer about it...
   I spend another week investigating about match services and it feels to me that I have spend enough time on this now, I don't want to waste more on this and I also will not make a list of the services and report about my negative experiences. In case I find a real good service, which is not in the first place money orientated, I will report about it. At this moment I don't know any, even the ‘spiritual’ services are after money in the first place. I have found one match maker service which is an exception: This service is really for free and the word ‘free’ is not just used as a trick to attract people, (Update: now they charge a monthly amount, which seems to be fair...) telling them that they can subscribe for free and then not giving any possibility to connect with people, but then asking after each step to upgrade ones membership, also using all kind of tricks. For example pretending that there is a message and when one wants to read it then one is ask to upgrade before. If one would pay one would probably find out that the message is a fake. I have a proof for this: Like with most of these match services it is easy to subscribe but difficult to get out of it. So when I wanted to quit one of the service I could not find a way, so I just changed my profile and made something totally absurd out of it: 99 years old, 540 pounds weight, 1,20m tall, bald with black hair, speaking about 10 different languages, and as text in all different fields I just wrote: "I am tired of this match maker and want to get out of here!" Repeating this again and again. As a picture I submitted: And then after a few days I received an email telling me that there is waiting a message with a selection of my perfect matches! And these messages are continuing every two weeks for nearly one year! So I only can say that Burt is demonstrating my opinion about this tricky behavior...
   Better forget about all this kind of services. But there is an enormous need for it and the number of services are growing every day; using the need of people to find a match and making money out of this; the same as it happens with health: People who are suffering from a disease are forced to buy chemicals from a billion $ industry. Disgusting! I am thinking about making our own match service, which would also cover the need for people in communities to connect with people in other communities; people who want to communicate and have an exchange on a more profound level not just have a fast relationship, with other words: sex, but to find kindred spirits. But at this moment we are not enough people to be able to realize this project. Maybe there are people out there who are interested to participate... (Update: I had to give up this idea as there are too many other projects...)
   Here I must stop for the moment, please come back -  Have a look at my 'Profile' from one of the Matchmaker Services.

I spend three months with this match maker investigation. Many hours and many nights sitting at the computer. Summary: It was for nothing! I didn't spend much money, but what I paid was wasted. Well, I learned an aspect about people I haven't seen before and I could see the desperation coming out of the longing for a 'soul mate' and how this is used from money maker. But it is enough now and I have dropped the project. I have gotten tired of the whole Internet games and all the problems with computers and all this technical stuff. The telephone line for the Internet connection is mostly busy, the computer boring slow and the problems caused by viruses are starting to drive me crazy. My conclusion is that probably I will give up and go back to paper and ink... [Meanwhile these problems are solved, we have a very fast connection and a functioning virus protection, but of course there are still enough other frustrating circumstances...]
Do you want an advice from me to find a 'match'? Write a poem, expressing yourself, but write it on a nice piece of paper. When you meet a  person you like, then give it to her/him maybe together with a flower. There might not come out the 'match of your life' but at least it will produce a smile and this is more than the match maker services all together can cause...

   There is no doubt that there is a big need for people to come together, to communicate, to meet and to match. On one side the world seems to be smaller as the technique of communication is more and more sophisticated and distance don't count that much, but on the other side people are more distant and often not even know their next neighbor. 'Spiritual' persons are lost in the  mass of our materialistic society and have problems finding like minded people or a match. 
updated 17. Nov. 04
back to index  | BeiYin's page  |  BeiYin's bio  |