Happiness and Joy is causing Anger?
How can happiness and joy can cause anger? Of course not happiness and joy, but the concept of it. And not the concept but the reactions when this concept must be defended. An example:
One night a few days ago, when I was going to sleep, I saw light in the kitchen and went to check it. There was the same person from the above dialog who just had finished his work with the kitchen computer. I asked if everything is ok and was going to leave, but then he approached me and said: “Can I tell you something?” I said: “Of course, what is it?” He answered: “I am angry!” I said: “Well, then tell me, why you are angry.” He hesitated: “Hm, aeh, it is because this afternoon you used the micro wave and then you didn’t clean it after!” “Oh, I didn’t notice that it had gotten dirty. Normally it doesn’t, but I can clean it tomorrow. No problem. Good night!”
Then I thought about it and was wondering: How it is possible that somebody gets angry by such a thing? The next day I cleaned the microwave and with a piece of tissue paper it needed only ten seconds, because there were only three little spots. How can a person get angry about such a thing? Reflecting about it, it became clear that there must be another reason behind…
What was showing up the next day when I talk about the self-healing retreats and he had answered me with his comment about happiness an joy. Then I remembered that the day before he expressed his anger, I had spoken about an info form somebody had send who had answered to all the question in the form that ‘happiness and joy’ would be the most important. I mentioned in my talk that I had written back and had said that being happy and enjoying life is good, but to come to FalconBlanco it needs more and this includes hard work on all levels. So after travelling for more than ten years and enjoying life he probably will be disappointed when he comes to live at FalconBlanco, I guess this is exactly what he needs, but I told him that at the moment I’m tired to deal with the reactions showing up then, coming from his need to defend his self image, etc.
When I had finished my comment then there was no response at all, but then the next day he expressed his anger… And this happened because he had to defend his concept he is holding about happiness and joy, the same as the other guy with the info form, but now he had to use another reason, not to connect it directly, otherwise it would have been obvious that he is hurt in his self image, he had developed and which helps him to survive in this world which is everything else than happy. Now he is provoking me in such an absurd way that I need to respond to it. As he is leaving anyway within a week so I guess he will take it and not react extremely by leaving immediately. Of course the best or most creative would be that he asks me questions to clear this up, but this would be an exception as most people when reacting out of defence they are aggressive or leave. He will not react with aggression because this doesn’t fit into his self-image of being happy…
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