What can I do? Question and Answers at 'Yahoo Answers'   most recent update 

BeiYin: What can I do after 30 years working hard to install an Intentional Community, realizing now that itfailed?
I dreamed my whole life to live in a place with 'kindred spirits' being creative and living an essential meaningful life, not being caught in the rat race of our society. When I was about forty, after having had a full life with family, business and all of a 'normal life', I found the ideal place to realize my dream. What followed could fill a book, so now only that much: After years of ups and downs I'm coming now to the conclusion that this is an illusion and can't work. It would function with a strong leader or guru, but I am rejecting this role as I reject any kind of manipulation. Another aspect why it failed is that there is no belief system offered that people can follow. There are no spiritual or religious concepts, although there is a 'working concept', that means that there is information available about the needed attitude so that ones daily life can be a creative learning and growing process... We need to relate to what shows up in our daily life and respond out of our condition and so finding out where we are programmed and bound, clearing up ourselves from unconscious worn out structures. I expect that people who come to live here have self responsibility and the urge and enough enthusiasm to do something beyond satisfying their personality, but this seems so rare that in all this time maybe of the one thousand people who past the place only about ten had this capability and these people nearly all had the idea to found their own place... (Some then did it and after not so many years they gave up after having passed dramatic happenings...)
The last time was so extremely difficult at FalconBlanco, that I'm also coming very near to the point to give up, not an easy decision, but I want to spend the last ten or twenty years of my life with more sense than, - saying it very frankly: cleaning up the mess other people are causing.
I do not give people the fault and I'm not negative but it looks very much that there are no people who are able to live such a life style. There is living space for about twenty people and also enough food and there is not much work necessary to maintain the place to keep it clean and organized and so there is plenty of time to work on other projects to do something to 'better this world'. The last three years the place was mainly used by people to survive and they were not interested in my intention, they not even completed the few rules that are given like: NO drugs, NO smoking and NO alcoholics. They sneaked in with lies telling beautiful things about themselves and when they show up... oh boy! And then they don't want to leave, having a comfortable room, enough food, Internet access and all the freedom. I don't want to use violence to get them out and so they come up with all kind of reasons to stay until finally they feel uncomfortable and leave... Having contaminated the place with their toxic energy and having caused a lot of trouble...
When I write here at Yahoo Answers, then because I know that there are people here who might give me a kick so that I might find a way to continue with my intention and to succeed. It feels that this is my last chance, please give me your thoughts...

Additional Details: Hi friends here at Yahoo Answers! I'm getting involved and excited about this process of questions and answers. Indeed it is a transformational 'growing process'! There is no 'best answer' this only can be the result of coming together and creating 'group energy' that in it's walk will bring the solution coming out of finding new horizons and a new attitude, that is free from past experiences and limitations, then this will be the 'best answer'!
I'm working on it to find a way to write comments about your answers to make this process visible. I appreciate very much the space here at Yahoo Answers, but the limitations are strict and so I will look for a solution to express myself. I will let you know soon... Thank you very much for your answers, I'm impressed about the effort you have invested in your thoughts and also about the depth. This is something I have had in past group happenings here at FalconBlanco and I see already that this will happen again in the future...

Answers & BeiYin's Comments
Stardancer: Not sure I am 100% with you - is this some kind of commune? Or more like a cult?
BeiYin: It started as 'Intentional Community', but there are many images connected with this name and then people came here and their expectations were not fulfilled and then they left disappointed, so I called it 'place for friends'... But what happens when people can't put it in any category then they call it 'cult' and see it as something dubious and suspicious, but FalconBlanco is every thing else but not a 'cult'.
Stardancer: The reason for my confusion is that you obviously don't have a religious ilk, but you say there isn't much work to do there - so it can't be an active farm or anything.
BeiYin: There is no religious or spiritual concept offered people can hang on or get confirmed.  My 'philosophy' is that we need to keep in contact with the earth, the ground we stand and walk on. Our daily life is our teacher and we need to relate and respond to what shows up, out of our own responsibility and being aware of our reactions coming from our unconscious background... With other words: Getting to know ourselves and our human nature... But hardly anybody is really interested in this. People want in the first place self confirmation for their established concepts and their more or less precious self image...
Stardancer: Have you considered setting up a web site? Or maybe placing an ad somewhere locally (a local magazine that serves people who are interested in making a difference in the world)?
BeiYin: Yes, there is a Web site: http://falconblanco.com  and I have been presenting FalconBlanco during more than ten years as well at several Internet places, but there is hardly any response, I did many different ways, also local magazines. There have been responses and people came, but often with results that doesn't support the intention of FalconBlanco and doesn't give satisfaction to the visitor, as I said: They come to realize their beautiful spiritual dreams of 'love and harmony' and expect that this happens offered at the outside as confirmation and then they are disappointed when they can't find it. When being told that they have to find it within themselves, then they reject this advice and still continue giving the fault to the outside and then leave disappointed. I needed several years to find out that when people wrote that the most important for them would be 'self knowledge' that this indeed means 'self confirmation' and has very little to do with the intention to find out about themselves.
Stardancer: Don't give up - you just need to get yourself out there more.
BeiYin: I agree and my idea is to make more videos and a radio talk show, but I'm working the whole day and have not even time to do the most urgent personal things. For several months there have been several people here I accepted because they wrote that they are specialized in video and sound processing, but what they did was breaking my video camera and messing up my TV cameras so nothing came out of it... Now I have bought a new video camera weeks ago but haven't had not yet time to read the manual!
Stardancer: Good luck- please be careful- and be quality, too... genuine people who would take this risk are not exactly a dime a dozen. Wish I had some of your guts;) It is not your last chance.
BeiYin: Thanks for your kind words and for starting to answer my question... You might know that you can edit your answer and write something more, maybe after you have visited my Web site...

Rahmona: You haven't answered Stardancers question about the work you are doing. That seems to be very important to attract people that they can do something that makes sense and as you say: 'keeps them in contact with the earth'.
BeiYin: Apart of working with plants and animals here at the place, we are doing recycling of pallets. We collect these at several companies doing a free service. This makes sense because if we wouldn't do it then the pallets go into the garbage. In this way we are saving trees and are not only talking about 'saving the environment'. We are making compost from all organic material we are collecting from a local farmer. If there would be some body interested to plant vegetables, then there is enough land, water and compost, but we are in contact with farmers around and have plenty of food in exchange for some help when organizing their materials. We don't do anything because of money, we do things because it makes sense and it is necessary and we get every thing we need in abundance. One must see it to believe it! We have an Aloe Vera plantation, but lately several hundred plants died because they didn't get the care they needed because of lack of people...
Volunteers should work about four hours daily (about the effectiveness of this work that's another story!) So every body has plenty of time to do their own thing, some thing artistically or what ever...
Rahmona: I can see from your Web site that you are interested in alternative ways of 'healing yourself' and I believe that this is an important work and needs much more investigation and experience. We are so much influenced by the established health system and to take self responsibility is something nearly unknown! So I can see that what you are doing is important...
BeiYin: Yes, healing is an important part of my work and investigation and I am convinced that there can be done a lot that can change peoples life so that they can grow in a conscious way getting out of the role of victims and sufferer. There is a lot to say about this, please go to my Health pages. I have healed myself from Fibromyalgia and also from an inguinal hernia and I am convinced that ones life is a healing process that includes our whole being, even it seems that one is healthy! I have written in details about it...

Catherine: Sorry if I am a little bit tough here, but I have a lot of experience in Community life.
The Community life is a very hard life indeed.
BeiYin: I agree, because one lives in close contact with people who are showing daily their reality of human nature and it is difficult to avoid this, but we all have chosen this condition not wanting to avoid it, using it to learn and to grow in a free space we are creating and all have the same urge, so it makes sense even though it is 'hard'. In contrary life within the setup of society, what some call 'rat race' people are so occupied with their survival needs that they are not openly relating to what shows up, they are just defending themselves and keeping their emotional and mental state as secure as possible.
You say that you have a lot of experience in community life. That can mean quite different things: There is a desire and the expectation to fulfill this. There are given concepts how this might work and then there is the confrontation with reality that mostly doesn't go together with ones dreams and hopes. Coping with the problems showing up and finding ways to deal with it, this one can call 'experience'. Right? So far so good, but isn't it clear that what ever situation one encounters, that one is reacting to it out of ones 'experiences' one have had? The concept one has established how things should be and can function? Can there be the possibility for an open relating and response to new situations? Probably not, - the goals are settled, the horizon is fixed, ones reactions are certain.
Catherine: Living in a community is hard because everything is multiplied. From the most materialistic and practical, to the most emotional and spiritual, every day is about solving a problem. You said that you do not want to be a Spiritual Leader, because you dislike manipulation, but next you notice that people are not interested in your intentions. This is because of the absence of Spiritual structure.
BeiYin:  You are presenting here a whole package, let's see: You say that every day problems are solved? I would be interested to know how this happens and then also, even more significant, why problems occur in the first place. I don't want to be a leader, not only because of the manipulation connected with this, but because it  brings and holds people in dependency. I don't think that people are not interested in my intention of FalconBlanco because I reject the leader role, it is because their urge to get out of their established personality is not strong enough, they are so used to it, they can't doubt their identity with it and not even dare to question it, they only want to be confirmed in their mental and emotional properties and they will look for a leader who joins this game. You are right, they are looking for 'spiritual structure', then they feel comfortable and confirmed. Then they are even willing to work hard with some practical things and they are willing to find solutions, mostly by squeezing them into the frame of their 'spiritual structure'. Oh boy, this for sure is not the way I understand a growing process that only can be a transformation of ones personal structure, only this can be a real 'spiritual' process.
Catherine: With no Spiritual structure, let alone Spiritual leadership, it means that they feel free to believe in what they want. Next, you cannot blame them for that. But you are still responsible.
BeiYin: Sorry to be tough, but I have a lot experience about human nature and will express myself direct and without phrases around: People might believe that they are free to believe in what they want, but in reality they are all programmed from there first moment on through all the influences they have received. This is their strongly established property and they are totally identified with it. In this they believe and there is hardly any space left, especially when something new doesn't fit into the already stored. I don't blame them for that, but if they don't have doubts and there is no question about anything that might bother them, then I will not talk to them. Years ago I have done this, but only provoking resistance with it. This is wasting energy. I am always ready and willing to help suffering people if they ask for help. That's the good thing with the Internet: If you have a question, then you can find an answer and you can find the one you like or the one that 'really' helps you.
Catherine: So, oh my God, I can relate to the agony that you are currently experiencing.
BeiYin: I appreciate your compassion, but in this you are wrong: I am absolutely not in 'agony'. I feel better than ever before as I'm in a constant transformation and know that if I'm stuck then this will change because I am changing. In this I am receiving the help I need and part of it is the exchange with people, just in the street or here in Yahoo Answers.
Catherine: It would not be charitable to force people out now. It is too late. Try to make do with the present situation. And let things slow down progressively till the end.
BeiYin: That's exactly what I'm doing, I don't like any violence and haven't kicked out many people, only one person last year who caused so much trouble that several people left and finally I had to call the police. But now I let things slow down and I let people play their games with each other only observing it, of course when a person comes to complain about others (gossips) then I tell about my view, if they want it or not.
Catherine: A Community needs a structure. There is no way around it. Otherwise, it is just a Camping site, and problems start to accumulate.
BeiYin: At a military training camp it needs structure and discipline, but here the structure must come out of the growing group energy, this even happens in the sand box with little children and it happens with animals in a natural way, so it should be possible with kind of 'grown up humans' who are coming together and seeking to work on themselves and wanting to get out of the common herd mentality.
Catherine: So, a Spiritual or Philosophical structure. It is not about manipulating people, it is about establishing an Identity, a strong Identity. So a Strong Spirit or Charisma, has to be found somewhere. If not in yourself, then in someone else or something else.
And something that has passed the test of time as well. Something sound, rich and solid. Otherwise, it is the open door to chaos and instability.
BeiYin: This sounds very much as if you have a Christian background and a strong identity with your beliefs. So I will stop here and not say anything more...
Catherine: Now, after this Spiritual Identity has been firmly established, let people come. There are people who will be attracted to this, because the World is made of all kinds, and there is enough space for every one.
BeiYin: No thank you, this for sure I will not do. I prefer to close the place if there is no body interested to live here because of the lack of 'spiritual structure'. You are right: There is space for every one and all kind, so people with this need will find the place for their need, but not here.
Catherine: After that, if some people tell you that they are really interested, tell them that they will have to go through several Periods of Probation. And that even though the Place is beautiful and comfortable, what is at the Heart of the Community is foremost the Spiritual Identity.
And you would have written a Book clearly stating what is this Spiritual Identity, and how you envision to put in practice. This Book will be the Rule/ Canon/ Precept/ Standard, so to speak. So it is very important.
It will be the Reference Book for the whole Community for years. It is not about Control. It is about Unity.
You cannot obtain Unity if people have nothing to unite themselves with. It is Human Nature.
BeiYin: Exactly! I will write a book as soon as possible and it will talk about 'human nature' and show all the tricks that are used to survive...
Catherine: Hopefully, as time pass by, a serious Spiritual Unity will start to be seen. Quite potent and real.
This Spiritual Unity is the only thing that will bring genuine happiness to the Community.
Every one will be at their best behavior, if they feel that their Heart is fulfilled by something precious and important. And you have to be kind but firm with the people that you feel are not suitable, after their Period of Probation has ended.
BeiYin: I have seen this kind of 'Happiness & Unity' and I prefer not to say anything about it. Sorry, here our exchange ends. I'm sorry, can you forgive me that I don't follow you? If you would be a visitor here at FalconBlanco and I would say something more, then you would leave the place latest the next day. So now we have a 'problem', that was not possible to avoid, how can we solve it? Can other people here help giving their input?
Catherine: A significant part of your role will be to never let someone drift apart, and or become lonely. There is a lot of loneliness in Community life. So, you will have a dialogue with each one of them, every week or every two weeks, on a regular basis.
BeiYin: People easily can project the father on me what I also don't like, just because I have a white beard and I'm available...
Catherine: It prevents a lot of gossips. And gossips are the killer of a Community!
BeiYin: If gossips can kill a community, then it has not been a community.
Catherine: By the way: Your Web site is very well done.
BeiYin: Thank you, yes I spend a lot of time on it since about ten years and there are about one million visitors a year, most go to the health pages and it makes me a little bit sad that only one out of 10.000 goes to my poetry pages...
Catherine: Oh, ... you are soooooo thorough and comprehensive. What a good man you are. So deep and extensive thoughts ! Well, I am lost. You are superseding me by many miles. It is ok. I am very relaxed about that. You are so right. I could not stay one day in your Community, I am so ill equipped. But I admire your impressive difference. You are not ordinary.
BeiYin: Now you are provoking me in a clever/funny way. I don't think that you are 'lost', you are strong and pretty sovereign, what means that your strength doesn't come only from your established catholic beliefs, I see that you can go beyond this and that would give you the capability to stay for much longer here at FalconBlanco than just one day.
Catherine: Are you forgiving people for being just ordinary or "programmed" like you said? Nop.
BeiYin: I can't see any reason to forgive people their condition, they are as they are and because of this causing me trouble is not their fault. I wrote it before: I'm convinced that whatever comes to me is the most effective that I can learn from it in my personal growing process if I relate and respond the best I can, knowing that my ability to relate and respond is limited because of my expectation fed from my unconscious background, formed by all the programs I have received and built up during my life. So in some way I'm thankful for all the 'idiots' showing up in my life because they are contributing to my 'healing', even though they have destroyed with their unawareness not only tools, cars, fork truck, cameras, computer and whatever can be broken, but also have poisoned the atmosphere with their toxic energy, but this not only happens here in FalconBlanco, that happens all over the planet, - every body can observe it! Right? Is there any need to forgive the sun for making me sweat? Nop!
Catherine: And may be you are right. May be this is your role. Your mission. I mean it, you are remarkable and exceptional.
BeiYin: Frankly: I don't want any role and about 'mission' I will tell you a bit of my history: I studied architecture and industrial design because I was convinced that our surrounding has a strong influence and so is important for our well-being, so I wanted to create beautiful things and spaces, but then I had to realize that architects design what people want because these pay and industrial designs are made to make things the cheapest way possible and to sell the most, it doesn't matter if it is disgustingly ugly. So I gave up after very few years working in this profession... I did various things for about ten years and all was based like my 'mission' on doing something, even when I started the project 'FalconBlanco' and indeed I have done a lot. You might see this as remarkable and exceptional, but I understand it now after thirty years of 'doing' still as a game, that at the end must fail. But of course what makes it fail is not the doing but the attitude behind. Wanting to realize a 'mission' and putting a lot of effort into it, might have success with the measurement of our society but it still remains a game. It might attract many people because they get what they want and they feel uplifted, but not wanting to work on themselves, getting to know themselves and willing to change their unconscious condition will not give them real healing. So you will ask: "What about all the work you are doing now?" You are right, I'm working more than ever before, but I'm not doing it out of wanting to complete a mission, I'm just doing it because that's what is showing up right now and needs to be done. Oh wait a moment, I must put out Isidor the duck... Done. Isidor is a duck that was bitten by a dog and can't walk, so I had to separate him from the other ducks. He has his protected space with water and food and in the night he has a box inside my house. He is a meditator and content in so far that he knows that he will not be eaten, the same as all animals here at FalconBlanco. I take care of him, is there any sense in it? For me it is and of course there is no mission connected with it.
Catherine: For instance, your idea on how to prolong our dialogue here at Y/A is not common, and I do not think that many people ever used that clever devise before.
BeiYin: About ten years ago I had joined 'News Groups' and I liked them very much, good creative exchanges could happen there, but then all groups were spoiled by people wanting to sell and by spamers. Then I had a very creative Internet Forum, that was destroyed by a troll. Now I'm using Yahoo Answers, that is a good space although it has its limitations. Maybe our exchange in this form will inspire Yahoo to make some changes and allow more possibilities...
Catherine: You are right, my experience of Community life is Catholic and French, and probably obsolete and old fashioned for our present days. Not quite though. I wish you could visit what are called the "New Christian Communities" in France, and feel the Spirit, courage and commitment of all the Priests, Brothers and Sisters. Day after day. Year after year. They are awe-inspiring. But fair enough, their belief is a conditioned belief. Yes.
BeiYin: I can imagine this and have no problem with it visiting and talking with people. I know their intention is good and they have a positive energy, I could go along with them well, of course I would only talk about my views when being ask and for sure avoiding as much as possible that they might feel offended. Like I'm talking with every body: People in the street, business owners, policemen, worker, homeless people, old people, children and with whom I meet. I like it and it feels good...
Catherine: There is something much better to be done and achieved. Yep. You are showing me that.
All I know is that I like you, I love you. I took your Question so much at heart you know.
And I sincerely wish you the very best, because you are, again, not an ordinary man.
Oh, ... one thing that we both agree about, ... you sooooo have the right energy, talent and insight to write a Book.
BeiYin: I wasn't sure that the problem that showed up during our communication would be solves in such a good way, again I see that my experiences with 'believers' had an impact on me that conditioned my expectation. Now I have the experience that there exist people they can solve a problem the best way possible: With love!
Yes, it might be possible that I write a book, - if this comes out of my non-doing. Probably I will have to publish it myself because I have the proof that only one out of ten thousand reader will get something real out of it and so it will be no 'best seller' and only  books like this are interesting for publisher. But this is not my problem, I will through it into the open space for the people to catch who are ready. The Internet is an excellent space and I will make a free download book... Thanks for animating me!
Catherine: Sorry, I did not go to your Poetry pages either, but I went to your Art pages. Your Art fascinated me. And I was captivated by your ever so strange and unusual story about that enigmatic "stuff" that once upon a time grew in your fridge and ended up in your garage, the story that you recounted in your Audio. I think it is Surrealism. Well done ! Your voice and elocution is wonderful to listen to.
BeiYin: Hurray! I have a fan! Not just a fan, but one who expresses herself, that's very rare and I must say that it feels good. What I created I haven't done to gain confirmation, I had fun doing it and I published it thinking that also others might enjoy it, but if never there comes a feedback, then of course one doesn't know... So it comforting to receive such an enthusiastic comment. I invite you all to watch my videos at YouTube, the one about "Transformation" for sure you will like, I did it a few years ago and enjoyed creating it very much! Also the one about Meditation you might like. It's possible that your positive comment animates others to go there and have fun... and if they would let me know about it, that would be great!

Jac: I have lived in many intentional communities and find that the dynamics are finely balanced - in one we had a strong guru like figure and he died and the group got even stronger and more equal after grieving. None of the communities I lived in had shared spiritual aims unless co-operation cold be seen as spiritual.
In all of them we worked exceedingly hard not only doing our days work but also holding the endless meeting s that are needed to keep on track with the groups aims.
BeiYin: I know these techniques to keep people busy and give them the feeling of togetherness and this even has a result, especially when the group is in the building phase...
Jac: I have been really exhausted really cold and yet feeling part of a group and laughing like a drain together in the evenings or sitting quietly and listening to a radio play together and sewing was just blissful.
BeiYin: Sharing a friendly atmosphere can make one feel good and this can last for some time. When the problems showing up, then for most is the time to move on...
Jac: How about you take a look at some groups that are successful look up Diggers and dreamers the uk directory of communities. There are also people who can come in and look at your groups dynamics in a helpful way.
I used to be a co-operative trouble shooter and am very interested in group dynamics all sorts of internal processes can de-rail a group.
BeiYin: Thanks, I had a look at these communities and watched a video about 'cults', after this I even will hold back more to express myself, as every thing from my writings and expressions received from a normal naive person can be labeled as a 'cult'... How easy truth can be mixed with lies and be used for manipulation, that indeed is frightening!

InkyPinkie: You have received some very good advises with answers coming in by now, mostly with hints how you should change the set up of your intention. But you had ask: "What can I do?'' and this is referring to your personal engagement. It is the usual way to relate to a situation that when something doesn't work or is in an unwanted condition, that then one wants to change it by d o i n g something about it, but seldom the question is what one can do with oneself and this might be the most important! Here often one can find the reason why something doesn't work. Maybe the goal is just not realistic or the surrounding environment is not favorable or the material available is not suitable.
BeiYin: The reason why I had ask here was not to find an effective strategy to make FalconBlanco successful. The ways to make something successful I know, but I will not fall into this kind of trap. I will continue to get out of it and help other seeker to do the same by distributing information that are coming out of my own experience and I have proofed to be effective. This sounds like the advertisements of the many salesmen, with the difference that I never charge any money. That is another obstacle because people think that only what is expensive has a value. This is a dilemma: If I give valuable information for free and therefor nobody wants it and on the other hand people would appreciate it when they have to pay expensive for it, then I could be in a conflict. But I'm not, even though I ask: What can I do?
InkyPinkie: You ask what to do. I suggest that you go into a state of 'non doing' and check your attitude. You wrote that you are convinced that what ever shows up in your life that this gives the best opportunity to learn and to grow. So then this also is valid for your situation right now. So what is it exactly you need to learn right now from this situation?
BeiYin: Yes! Finally there comes a hint that feels right! I know this, even though I was waiting for it. Some times one goes into the right direction and still one needs a kick...
Betsy: Asking what you can personally do is taking self responsibility, and is where real change happens. When you change in an essential way, you change the world and your surroundings.
BeiYin: You are beating a dead dog here! What do you think I'm working on all those years?
Betsy: This is the question few  ask themselves, preferring to see that problems are generated by others, or from outside or from what is manifest. Then the normal is to ‘do’ something different, which of course is determined by one's mental processes and all happens in the world of manifested objects, which is in a way, manipulating material or past tense objects. The mind manipulates the world of things. The real power is in the source, which is there or manifest without your doing or intention, but it's a foreign way to ‘be’, because we are so used to thinking something, then generating emotional/bodily energy and being busy with your ‘doing’. Non-doing people rarely choose to do, because it feels like they give up their control or energy or life or way of being they've always known. It's so foreign, like being in the unknown and not even knowing how to think anymore – we are not used to surrendering everything of the world for the higher part of ourselves to drive. Yet, something like this new way of being doesn't happen instantly, we get used to it slowly, it takes daily practice and keen observation of one's energetic vibration (or what one is emoting or energizing in body), to catch oneself being in the old way of ‘pretending as an energetic being’. It's another level of pretending, that I think happens at emotional or feeling level, like a layer under the intellectual or cognitive aspect. It takes high awareness to detect one's energetic pretending on the spot when it happens, and becomes visible only when one's awareness is high enough to detect it. Once one sees this deeper pretending energetic aspect of oneself, the self-knowledge is there forever, and one will take a huge leap in one's momentary awareness or ability to stay present, as this kind of emoting, sucks the greatest amount of energy and is the kernel that keeps the personality in it's antics.
One's favorite way to manipulate one's energetic state with emotional or bodily energy, thereby allowing one to find out the root reasons why one chooses the way's one does to ‘emote’. And also to help one to detect situations in daily life where the old habit arises (self-knowledge is power to go beyond it), so that one can set aside this pretending aspect and go into ‘non-doing’ state whenever one sees one is manipulating one's personal energy in the old conditioned way.
BeiYin: I don't know quite well to whom you are speaking. To me? Or giving people a lecture about your knowledge? You are right in what you write, but what is your motivation? You are pouring your buckets of wisdom into the wisdom pool, that's all right, it will not swap over so easily! And obviously you need to express yourself, - you are welcome!
InkyPinkie: BeiYin, you should be more friendly with this person, don't you see that she is in need of confirmation and she will feel offended by your directness? I understand that what you write shouldn't been taken too personal, but she will take it very personal and only see what she wants to see. Probably she was hurt to often in her life and now sees only what again hurts her.
BeiYin: You are right, I should not be so direct, even it is some one who is pretending to be in an advanced state having gained some insights...
InkyPinkie: Indeed it might be a change of your attitude. Is there still resistance and you can't accept what is there?
BeiYin: Yes there is: Even though I can understand the fact that humans are unbelievable stupid because this is part of human nature and has not so much to do with intelligence. But I have difficulties to deal with such people and this for sure is the result after thirty years of incredible absurd experiences with 'stupid people'. When one lives a normal life in this society then one also meets 'stupid people', but one doesn't live with them necessarily, but if one has a business company with people working there then similar problems are showing up, although the conditions are more clear: People work and get paid, if they don't do their job, then they have to go. If they are volunteers than this feels different for them and they think it is all right to hang around and are not engaged in what they do and for sure not in any 'spiritual structure'. To build up something with such people is hardly possible and needs three times more energy than to do it oneself!
Betsy: InkyPinkie asked a good question, but you respond with your argument, in other words I see it as defensive to keep your attitude intact.
BeiYin: I'm writing here out of my personal process to clear up possible reasons why the situation is like it is and I can see that one reason is that my attitude is in a frozen negative state because of wanting something in a certain way and then encountering conditions that doesn't allow the realization. One of the obstacles is the condition of people, based on their human nature. The consequence is that my intention is not possible to be realized with a group of people. But the efforts to manifest my vision, in which I have used all my abilities, had brought me into a learning and growing process that included every thing I came in touch with and of course my own existence. I am where I am because because of the encounters I have been going through an I have learned about my conditions the same way as I have learned about conditions of others, because they are based on 'human nature', that can be observed when one is not totally identified with ones reactions.
Betsy: If you detect defensiveness in yourself, then you know this is not from your source, rather personality is defensive by nature. Source has no need to defend itself, because there is nothing to defend. While what you state is true, and I can feel for you for all these years dealing with people, and can understand how it affects you. You don't have to hold onto this attitude. Turn it around and how do other people reading this or hearing this from you feel when you tell it to them? How does it make you feel to state it? What value do you get out of it by keeping your justification that people are stupid?
BeiYin: Again your are beating a dead dog. This attitude you are talking about has dropped or is dropping. You are seeing 'defensiveness' in what ever one is expressing. I stated that people are stupid because this is my experience for more than fifty years and I don't exclude myself. It has shown many times that people who smoke are not able to go into a process of real 'self knowledge'. They can be very clever, but when they smoke they are to stupid. So this experience brought me to the decision not to accept smokers here. So what happens? They lie and are hiding their habit, then all effort on them is just wasting energy, they will only contaminate the environment with their toxic energy. Personally I have nothing against them, they can be good people, even good worker, but they are defending their state in such a clever way pointing out things on the other and not looking at themselves. It is impossible to tell them anything, they always will know it better. Very clever, but at the same time extremely stupid.
Betsy: Is it really true, that you have difficulties to deal with people because of the 30 years of dealing with them and the fact they are stupid, or might it have deeper roots and have been in place longer than you realize? Something only you can answer. Perhaps you have to learn how to relate to stupid people, to be more compassionate for those with lesser awareness.
BeiYin: I have no difficulties to deal with people, absolutely not, some times I'm astonished myself how good I feel with people and that there are no problems when meeting each other. Dealing with people because of their lack of motivation, that they are so limited to their expectation, that they can't be open for any thing else that comes to them, their dependencies on authorities not being able to take self responsibility, their addiction on self-destructive habits, their laziness and dullness, their unwillingness to change anything of their established personality, their total identification with their properties, their constant defense at anything that doesn't confirm themselves, their violent reactions when they don't get what they want and much more that would fill a book. All this I can accept and I can deal with it, but to realize the intention of FalconBlanco it needs people that have grown out of this normal state of stupidity and so I'm forced to make conditions and say NO when this obviously is necessary to be able to continue. Of course my intention and what I'm doing about it ot make it work comes from 'deeper roots'. Why do you think I continued, even being aware about the conditions? Why do you think I need more compassion for people with lesser awareness? Am I not doing every thing to further awareness? Giving all my time and energy, offering the space I have built up for free and being there to help them, being willing to answer all questions people might have, but I can't force them to ask...
InkyPinkie: The fact is that people are not interested in your intention or that they are simply not ready for it.  This is your 'experience' for many years and so this is engraved and established with the result that you are stuck in it! So better forget about these people and your past experience and open yourself for the possibility that there are showing up people who are ready for your intention and want to live it, people who are not filled with all kind of expectations and are capable to relate to what is there. It is obvious that because of many years of experience with those programmed and limited people you have a negative expectation, be aware of it and then drop it! Make space for the other people, they are waiting to show up!
Betsy: Is it true that this is a fact, or only a fact according to how you see other people?
InkyPinkie is being too clever and soft on you here. He is giving you a great logical reason and excuse for your problem being the result of how others are. By stating it this way, he doesn't let you take personal responsibility for ‘your part’ in how other people are, how you are/were, and what experience you have been making for 30 years. I would like him to ask you: what was your part in it? To take ownership, and to see your own fault in the matter. What others did/do is not so important, it is how you have carried yourself. If you look close and see how what has resulted over all these years is a failure, and you see it is the manifestation of your own shortcomings, then this again is self-knowledge. Becoming aware of the reality or situation is the first step to get out of it. Yet, also with this can come compassion, realizing one does the best they can do, given one's level of awareness – one always makes the best decision possible on each day. More one can't do, and one forgives oneself for past mistakes. Forgiving oneself is the highest thing one can do, out of this will come true self-love, and the ability to forgive others and to of course love others.
BeiYin: I pass this on... Maybe there will come a comment from somebody else.
InkyPinkie: There seems to be no doubt that this person is projecting her own condition to the outside and now onto you, not seeing her own defense using to lecture you about her own problem. It is astonishing how many ways people use to defend themselves: "You can't be right because you have a pimple on your nose!" They will use your phrases to turn them back to you...
BeiYin: This sounds to me like the most valid hint I can receive! Looking at myself I must admit that you, InkyPinkie, are absolutely right. [...]>
Betsy: Don't give InkyPinkie too much credit here; you must be careful to see he offers also a personal escape with his 'logical facts'.
BeiYin: We are all in a game and using each other to be able to continue in it. The few pieces of 'truth' mixed in all the words, one is free to pick up or to ignore them...
BeiYin: [...]> The last few days I was talking with company owners I know since many years and I told them about my difficulties with people what they confirmed from their own experience, but I could sense a slight feeling of discomfort in them and so I checked my own energy and then I noticed that indeed I had caused this discomfort with my energy that was not relaxed and reaching out. So you are right that my energy is spoiled by disappointment over a long time.
Betsy: That you noticed how you affected others is the most important, best to drop your logical conclusion why it was so. That last sentence is not heart-felt enough, in it I feel you still give the reason to the outside and are not taking full responsibility for your energy. It is not about relaxing your energy and reaching out, to get a different result, one must be careful not to find another way to manipulate one's energetic projection. To ‘be’ needs no reason, nor no intention on your part, nor excuses on why you are like that. Disappointment is a good word to use because it is your own, but it doesn't have to do with other people's behavior, it has to do with your own expectations, which are from ‘personality’, and not from your source. When you drop these, then your mind is quiet and also your energy is not getting bent into defensive shapes.
BeiYin: This sounds like a copy of my previous writings. Who is talking to whom? Oh yes, we are all One, so it doesn't matter...
InkyPinkie: You better shouldn't be ironic. I can do it because people recognize me as 'funny' so they don't take me too seriously.
InkyPinkie: Then also your 'doing' will be effective in what ever it is on the practical level, you will see.
I wish you light!
BeiYin: Light received! I see clearly that all difficulties on the practical outside level are connected with my energy and have brought me to the point that every thing is collapsing, to such an extent that there seems no solution possible. A few examples: Tools, machinery, vans, fork truck, telephone, electricity, water systems, Internet connection, all is broken down and technicians and mechanics come to repair it and can't do it or they don't show up. Since several weeks there is no telephone line and the Internet works only once in a while. This has never happened before to such an extent. With people it is not much different, they have a flu or an accident or they feel bad because... there is always a good reason. OK, finish! I will not feed this kind of energy within myself! Looking at the day that has passed I can see that today it was different than in the last few weeks. We all together unloaded the van and even we are running out of space and it was complicate, the mood was good... So yes, it might mainly having to do with my energy...

Isidora: There are different possibilities to interpret your question. What you can do? You can let yourself fall into a deep depression, that would be normal after having worked for so many years and now every thing is collapsing. Or you can say to yourself: "Well, I have done the best I could, that it failed might not be my fault, in case it is, then what have I done wrong? Without doubt I have learned a lot, more than I would have learned being alone or in a single relationship. So if I have to finish this episode of my life, then there will start a new one where I can use all, for myself and for others..."
BeiYin: How do you know? That is exactly how I see it and that gives me the power to survive and keeps my good feelings. I admit that sometimes I just want to disappear, but there are so many occasions I can enjoy that my good mood comes back very soon.
Isidora: So then you will get out of the negative energy that is holding you now and you can go forward, fresh and with new creative outlook. My best wishes are with you!
You can notice it already: look at the good energy here, you are surrounded by friends, there is no negativity, no black mail or gossips!
BeiYin: That's true, the feeling here is absolutely positive and gives me support. There is still something missing, but there have passed not even two days and there might come more answers that triggers another connection or gives me another 'kick'... At this moment I feel exhausted and as if I had too much coffee, I had not even time to meditate...
To all friends: Thank you all! Please continue to give me your thoughts, let's keep the group energy going...

Mary Ann: Have you tried every angle possible to make this work for the last thirty years? If not and you feel that you have more things to test out then by all means do this. On the other hand if you feel that anything more would be like a shot in a wooden leg then I would say that you are at a seriously pivotal point. Perhaps you could think of this as a golden opportunity to discover some different approach that may work since now you know what doesn't.
BeiYin: My approach is to go with the flow of life, what means that I relate to what shows up and comes to me and then I respond. It started when I visited a friend here on the island when I was living at the Costa Brava. He gave me his car and I was driving around when I came to the ruin of an old farm house on top of a hill. There happened some magic and I bought this place. After a few months I came and was living in the only room that had a roof, without electricity and without water. I had brought with me my animals: My horse, two dogs, two cats, one parrot and a nymphen sittich and a rooster with two chicken. A had left a comfortable house and family life. I felt good with my new simple life style and started to rebuild the house. After one year I went to France to participate in therapy groups for several months, I had taken with me my horse, dogs and parrots, the cats and chicken I had left with people who took care of them. When I came back I prepared the place for therapy groups and for the next few years this was a therapy center and after this all kind of other groups happened here. What I want to say is that it was an unfolding slow process and one thing came after the other. It was not like with other communities that a few people came together with the idea to start one and then looking for a place, etc. A few people came together to live here, but there has been always a lack of permanent members. We planted our vegetable and did artistic things, without problems and specific commitments. We meditated and had discussions together and we invited others from outside. It worked and there was no reason to test anything different. This went on for several years without incidents. Many people passed the place, staying a few weeks or up to a few months, some times up to twenty people came together. Serious difficulties were only showing up the last three years...
Mary Ann: I love the fact that you want to make a place that is designed for working on the self, which I think means that you want to encourage an improvement in yourself and humanity. I can't tell you how important it is to cling to this notion but you have to keep searching for the particular method that truly works. Inner attitude is key really. The worse our attitude toward others is, the worse that our experience is likely to be. Everyone who comes to the Island must feel that contributing to FalconBlanco is the same as contributing to themselves. This cannot be forced on the people but they should be educated that this is the best way to make it fulfilling for everyone and be willing to have this attitude.
BeiYin: I don't want to make a place, the place is there and the set up is clear without much explication. The energy is strong and who is not ready will go into defense reactions, not willing to look at oneself will cause the person to leave. I'm convinced that who comes here is drawn by an inner desire to go beyond ones limitations and even though a person leaves disappointed there might be planted a seed that in its time will grow... The right attitude is the result of ones growing process and can't be realized through a 'method', that only becomes a concept within the other as part of the common game. There is a way to prepare people that they become relaxed and more open to let go of their worn out established concepts and that is a simple exercise, I call it: 'StressReleaseExercise'. Every body can do it and it is very effective, there is plenty of information available at my Web site. I have been doing this exercise for more than fifty years and I'm convinced that this gave me the capability to deal with all what happens in my life in a creative way and using it for my growing and healing process. So I don't mind that people are stupid, but if they want to come here to FalconBlanco, then they should be willing to do what is good for them and probably the most important is that they participate in the daily 'StressReleaseExercise'.
Mary Ann: The aim to have and hold up is the idea that being a giver is the highest way to be and to act for selfish purpose is shamed and seen as unsavory. Giving to the group should be a pleasure, and not to give should feel bad. The only competition should be who can give the most. This requires guidance and leadership and good examples to follow. Exercises and projects that require teamwork. You don't have to use a spiritual theme or any religious idea to unite in a positive way but you could use examples from nature to illustrate the harmonic interdependency of a forest or a plain, the way that minerals, plants and animals interact to form a perfect balance in an ecosystem, or the way the cells of a healthy body work together to keep an organism alive.
BeiYin: 'Being a giver' also only can be the result of ones growing. I can't see much sense in it by giving 'guidance' in this, that's the reason why I am rejecting any 'leadership'. A good example they can see in me if they want, but I don't do things or be in a specific way to give 'an example'. I'm not using spiritual or religious ideas, very seldom  and you are right that examples from animal and plant life make it often very clear. I am using the work of Cesar Millan "The dog whisperer" to make it clear that the energy one is presenting is the most important and not the words. I advice every body to watch the videos with Cesar even one might not have a dog...
Mary Ann: You are on the right track by wanting to work in a group and work on self improvement. Honestly, there is no distant corner of the world that you can go where you won't be touched by the full blown ego of this globalized interdependent humanity and this is something you should prepare about and know how to rise above and keep your community strong, not only for yourselves, but for the good of humanity. I do wish you the best of luck what ever you decide to do. Working with others and for others, you will surely find that your combined positive aspiration will be the sail that catches the great wind!
BeiYin: I agree wholeheartedly even I'm not sure if it will happen that a group of people comes together within the next time. I  don't worry about surviving for myself, I believe that I can survive under any conditions and at any places. My intention with FalconBlanco and the energy I'm presenting might be too far away from what people want for themselves as a possible life style. To be able to continue with FalconBlanco it would need only about four people and one reason I'm writing here, apart of clearing um my own attitude, is that one or the other might come out from our exchange and from people who are reading this. We will see...

Lodgekolm: Do you have enough time in your life to make it work?
BeiYin: I don't think it is a question of time. It works in so far as it is connected with my personal learning and growing process, it is my healing that happens in the first place and then there is the possibility that this is influencing my surrounding in a positive way. I can observe that this works, although not the way people like it, so their reactions are not coming out of realized peace but mostly out of defense and so are not harmonious. I am in so far a step ahead as even though I might not like what comes as a chellange to me, I don't need to react out of defense because I am convinced that whatever shows up is an opportunity to grow and then I do not reject this out of defense.
Lodgekolm: Is there something else you want to do in your life?
BeiYin: At the moment I'm occupied with what I'm doing and so I don't want to do any thing else. I would like that what I'm doing is more effective, for example distributing information about the 'StressReleaseExercise'. The exercise could help many people in their growing and healing, but people are not open for it, some how they prefer their struggling and to suffer is part of it, there seems no way to reach them, they are mostly totally occupied. The only thing I can do is writing about it. I want to make videos and I have bought a new camera, but this has been sitting here beside me and I haven't had time yet to look into the manual, so that's something I want to do: making videos, because I believe these would have a much stronger impact on people and could be much easier to be received.
Lodgekolm: I am just asking because it is silly to keep doing the same thing over and over if it doesn't get anywhere.
BeiYin: Yes, for sure I'm silly, who's not? I wouldn't say that it hasn't brought me anywhere. I am where I am due to what I have done and learned out of it. You are right: I don't need to repeat the same lesson and that hasn't happen, there is always something new I'm getting out of a situation even this seems to be the same as before.
Lodgekolm: Maybe you should close the whole place down, take a break, and come back in a year or so after you have traveled the earth.
BeiYin: It is easy to write this, but in practice this is difficult. I thought about it and it seems not possible. There is nobody who can keep the place going when I wouldn't be here. I have traveled the Earth and have been to many parts all over, several times. That's not what I need, although a break would be good, for sure, because I haven't had vacations for several years, although living here is like a constant vacation...
Lodgekolm: I don't know, it sounds like you would benefit from a vacation of sorts. Is there someone else there who can lead the way while you would be gone, simply put who has the energy to keep the place going for a while, while you take a break.
BeiYin: If there would be people here, four or six people would be enough, then I could do more essential things like making videos and a radio talk show and that would be even better than vacations.
Lodgekolm: Maybe you don't want to take a break, then keep doing what you are doing. Maybe you are just at a turning point where everything will change...
BeiYin: I do want to take a break and I need more space for myself and doing more essential work than maintaining this place, but I do it the best I can because that's what is necessary.
Lodgekolm: Just out of curiosity, can I ask you: What is the meaning of 'success' for you? What would it look like to you when FalconBlanco is a success?
BeiYin: The meaning of 'success' for me is when there is happening a creative transformation, that is a learning and growing process that includes ones whole being and so is also a 'healing process'. To see FalconBlanco as a 'success' would mean that people living here and coming as visitors, would receive impulses and information they can use to go beyond their personality and connect consciously with their source, so that their life can change in many aspects. I have written about this many times at many places...

Toussaint: Your posts and comments are very interesting BeiYin, but the failed illusion you have woven is a fabric of contradictions. The moment you say "No Drugs" which includes alcohol and tobacco, you've assumed leadership of the group. I suppose you're an anarchist heart. Nothing wrong with that, but you recognize people are stupid and that they lie - and yet you don't want to give them leadership?
BeiYin: When at the gas station they put the sign: NO SMOKING! Does this mean they want to be a leader? Of course not, they just want to avoid that their installation blows up into the air. They don't give explication to their customers about the danger of open fire, etc. and if somebody feels offended for not being allowed to smoke and complains about it, telling he would go to another place to buy his petrol... What would you think about such a person? So what I do is just to put a sign at the door of FalconBlanco that tells: NO drugs, No alcoholics, NO smoking. And I do this because many years of experience with people has told me that people with this kind of life style and habits are not ready to confront difficulties in their life to see these as a challenge. They are not ready for this before they don't give up their addictions, so wasting their energy and time and also mine, when staying here. Worse: They are pretending and lying and continue to smoke but hiding it, with the danger to blow up the 'gas station'.
Toussaint: BeiYin, my friend, you are getting just what you asked for; but worse, you have expectations that people won't lie or cheat or steal and that they're not stupid, and of course you are disappointed.
BeiYin: What do you think I'm asking for? I can't quite get it. I don't expect that people are not stupid. Sometimes I give the affirmation formular to smokers who want to stop smoking: "I'm stupid, but I'm not that stupid to smoke!..." Is it asking people too much who have the serious desire to get out of their straitjacket of personality, that they to start with at least look at themselves and be honest? If I would have a company and want to hire worker, would my expectation that they give me honest references be too much? This expectation will give me less disappointment when I find out that they were lying, instead of the huge disappointment when I hire them and then find out that they have no idea about their job and are just inutile, destroying my tools and creating a chaos that needs an army to be cleared up. Knowing about human nature avoids that I'm too disappointed when I find out that people are lying about their conditions, but I came to the point, after some explosions in my gas station, that I don't give any service anymore unless people ask for it, so when they smoke, they can blow themselves up. Better not, but they can go somewhere else and give space for others who might be able to appreciate a drug and smoker free place...
Toussaint: No expectations, no disappointments. That, to me, is the first lesson. The second lesson is that there are probably as many "bad" people out there as there are "good" people. There are, St Augustine said "Know that every man is a liar, but neither shun him nor love him the less."
BeiYin: Not to have any expectations for not to be disappointed sounds good on paper but in daily life this is not possible to live. I don't see people as 'bad' or 'good', I see that their 'being' is blocked by their fake identity and that a few are struggling to get out of this, but so deep involved and occupied in their identification games, that they are not open for anything apart of themselves and their need to be confirmed in their fake reality. I do love them, no matter how they are, but if you walk through the dschungle and you meet a tiger, you may love him but avoid a too close encounter with him...
Toussaint: I would say work for the good of mankind without having any expectations which means, ultimately, don't care, don't have any desires. As don Juan tells Carlos Castaneda, "What makes us unhappy is to want. Yet if we would cut our wants to nothing, the smallest thing we'd get would be a true gift. It is up to us as single individuals to oppose the forces of our lives... The power to do that is all we have, mind you, to oppose the forces of our lives; without that power, we are dregs, dust in the wind."
BeiYin: This someone can write, living excluded in a nice place far from people, in a beautiful house full of books, in a good climate near Mexico city, having created a 'hyper reality' that has it's high pitched spiritual reality as the ultimate sophisticated escape from reality.
Toussaint: I suspect the kindred spirit you are searching for is within you, sitting there, waiting for you to recognize him. Good luck, BeiYin! I wish you well. As the angels said, "Peace on earth to men of good well." :)
BeiYin: That this intention can continue and grow, it needs a few dedicated people. I'm not searching for them, I respond to occasions expressing myself so that maybe somebody feels attracted.
Thanks for your good wishes, but what is needed is not luck, but a miracle. That I guess is the job of the angels you mentioned, so let them come down from their rose clouds, drop their harps and let them do some real work...

Edwin: I don't feel in a position to advise because a situation is difficult to understand if one is not there, but I will say what strikes me.
BeiYin: That's a sensitive and clever attitude, because situations are depending on many facts and even describing them in details it is not possible to give a complete picture.
Edwin: You want the natural and good interaction to happen as a group phenomenon in the holistic way it occurs in nature, but please remember that among animal groups there are natural hierarchies and a leader or leaders. In the ecology of nature there is also of course destruction as part of the path to balance.
BeiYin: I agree completely with what you say. The interaction that happens in a group no matter if with animals or humans is ruled by the energy the individuals are representing. There are natural states and the higher the level of energy is so can rule lower states, without even anything actively doing. So there can be a 'leader' who might be physically week and can keep other members of the group under control when he has powers on a higher level. This also means that he doesn't necessarily is using his power, it only needs his presence without any action demonstrating his sovereignty.
Edwin: You sound as though you have been very laid-back in an effort to make it a group manifestation. However, the other side of being laid-back has been you have been disappointed and have become overly ready to judge people negatively due to recent bad experiences.
BeiYin: As I said before: Taking a leader role will succeed in so far that a power structure is created and the members fit themselves into this frame. Then they feel content and secure, because they don't need to take self responsibility and just do what they are told. That creates dependency and keeps the followers in their established state. That for sure I don't want to support, - that they continue to live more or less content their fake reality. In an open space without leadership, naturally there will be insecurity, disturbance coming out of the struggle to find ones place within the group and as a result of questioning the situation: finding out about oneself! This process, that is a growing and learning process should be supported by the group energy when they have the same interest to heal themselves and do certain activities like meditation, yoga, expressing themselves in an artistic way and other things that help them to free themselves from worn out pattern.
It looks like, that there are not enough people who are interested in such an intention or there are so few who are not bound to their life situation and not free to join a group, that there is no way to find half a dozen people to realize the coming together of a group. So it might not difficult to understand that my energy and enthusiasm is going down and I'm 'laid back' how you express it. My physical strength comes to its limit and I'm forced to look for a solution, well that's what I'm doing now and I am getting enough feedback so that I can look into the furthest corner of myself to find out if there might be the reason of the failure...
Edwin: This can change again with positive experiences. I wonder why hasn't your intuition served you better these last few years, since you have experienced many opportunistic individuals?
BeiYin: This is a good argument, indeed, my intuition is quite developed and has saved me many times from being hurt or destroyed and it has me also helped to understand the sense of difficult encounters for example with 'opportunistic individuals', in fact from those I have learned the most about human nature. The destruction of material things was a low price. That they caused that permanent members left the place was more serious, but even this I see as a part of the learning process and the same about the struggling now...
Edwin: At times odd, negative appearing events occur and they lead to something better than had they not happened.
BeiYin: That's exactly how I see it and I'm open to receive whatever shows up, - being aware that my growing and healing process is not yet finished but that it might not be necessary to go through dramatic events...
Edwin: You are offering something great and unusual. Why do you think it may be "too far away from what people want for themselves as a possible life style"? Do you think you are asking for too much? In what way?
BeiYin:This is an excellent question and I have answered it a few days ago at: dangers.htmSo I have the 'expectation' that the reader can understand what is written, but I know also that the understanding might not be possible because of the reason described there. So I will not be disappointed if then nobody will positively respond and only negative reaction will come back as a defense exactly because of the reasons described!
Oh boy, it seems I have chosen an impossible venture! Proof me wrong! Thank you for giving me the chance...

A tough message...
Cat: Now, how are you going to take this BeiYin? I am going to be so tough even cruel here. Before that, I am going to tell you that I genuinely love you. I am paying so much attention to you.
BeiYin: If you would know how many messages I'm receiving with the most insulting accusations, then you will understand that I take your message easily as obviously you are confused and projecting into me your own conditions. So I don't take it personally, although I check in how far it has to do something with my condition. Of course I'm wondering and ask myself: Why I am attracting such outbursts?
Cat: You are a total charmer... You are German, aren't you? Your personality is second to none. You are a great contributor to the Human race. You are so handsome, inside and outside.
BeiYin: You are mixing totally different levels that have nothing to do with each other. What has this to do with my initial question? Yes, I have still a german passport, although that is the last and only connection that is left with Germany. Or is this something bad because your grantgrantfather was killed in world war I by germans? I am a contributor to the Human race? That makes me laugh. I am contributing more to the thirty cats I'm taking care of, at least these are open to receive, from humans I can't find this...
Cat: You Ego is HUGE! I mean you are so not humble, it is beyond description. You even want Y/A to change! What?!!
BeiYin: If being 'humble' is a desirable attitude in your Christian belief system then live it but don't expect it from others. When I suggest changes in 'Yahoo! Answers' then because the form now doesn't make an extended exchange easy although every thing else works nearly perfect.
Cat: You talk like like a Patriarch. You talk at length as if YOU had the only key to everything. You tell people what to do, what to think, what to feel. You assertively tell them that there is something wrong with them. That their are programed, and that they need to change.
BeiYin: Indeed, I found a key coming out of my own life experience and I want to share this key with others who are obviously in need, so that's the main reason why I'm writing here. I'm trying to find a writing style that can be more easy be accepted by people, but I think the style might not be that important, so if you receive me as a 'patriarch' it doesn't matter. I don't tell people what to think and to feel, that simply is not true. Yes, I tell them that they are programmed and I give information how to get out of this, but they need to do it themselves.
Cat: Your self esteem is massive! You love yourself so much.
BeiYin: I had enough 'self esteem' thirty years ago when I started this project, but now I'm getting tired when talking against walls and writing responses like this one that doesn't make much sense...
Cat: By the way, there is nothing wrong with this. (myself I am enjoying this to the MAX).
So then why making a fuss out of it? Enjoy it and take what you can use and what you don't like, even though that might be the best, just ignore...
Cat: You are a killer. You are a people killer. Your intention is to kill what is "wrong" in people.
BeiYin: You should read my writings more carefully. I always point out that eliminating the symptom doesn't really help, it is no real 'healing'. What is necessary is to involve ones whole system. That you are using the word 'kill' shows that you haven't understood anything.
Cat: After that you wish them to work hard for you on your Property?
BeiYin: Now this is unfair hit below the belt and some times used by people when they are leaving. That's a primitive revenge and part of the defense, but I haven't expected something like this from you. People don't work hard, not at all, and they don't work for me, in contrary: I work extremely hard, at least three times more than people and I don't do it for myself. Just because I have the papers of the 'ownership' doesn't mean that I feel as the 'owner'. I always say: the owner is the one who feels responsible. The legal paper doesn't mean much, the place can be taken away anytime from the administration... I had planed to leave all to the people who live here, because I might leave this behind me, but there are nobody else than my partner, so only in case soon a group will come together...
I had thought to give the 'best answer' to you, but after this message I will leave it open that people decide.
The rest of the message I will skip because it is just too silly... 

I tried to make my last update with my response to a 'tough message from Chaterine' but it doesn't work, so I will put it on my Web site: http://falconblanco.com/fbdiscus/exchange/answers.html if you are interested to read it.
This probably is my last update. I thank you all for the effort in writing your answer. It has helped me to find the right and 'best answer' within myself. Thanks and maybe we meet again here at 'Yahoo! Answers'.


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