Quote:
"Suicide is the #1 killer of people with fibro and cfs..."
Reading
testimonials from people with Fibromyalgia, Cancer, Aids, etc. and then
the fact that I myself went through the experience of Fibromyalgia, gave
me understanding why people kill themselves.
The pain
takes a lot of energy up to one's limit and then when the suffering person
can't find help through the established health system except with pain
killer, which seems to give a release, but the body system also needs energy
to deal with those chemicals, then the emotional energy goes down more
and more. No wonder that deep depressions are the inevitable result. The
conflict to see the lack of knowledge of medical doctors and how they still
are keeping their posture of authorities, the need to find help somewhere
and the feeling of impotence to get out of this dependency, not knowing
what to do or where to go, is squeezing one into a position without any
hope to get out of it. There is nothing left: traditional religious beliefs
don't help at all and philosophical or spiritual concepts doesn't seem
to have any value anymore. That obviously seems to be the end.
I was
lucky enough not needing to go through all of these steps. Yes, I had unbearable
pain and also an extreme lack of energy. But I never took any painkiller
and I never had depressions. I had learned in my early years to take strong
pain without the help of chemicals, so for example the dentist could take
out the nerve of a tooth without anesthesia and I could manage this. Of
course this was no fun but I could take it. So when I went through the
pain of Fibromyalgia I was able to deal with it. As I have written at my
Web site testimonial: 'I see disease as a challenge within one's personal
growing process. One is NOT a victim of 'bad' circumstances. Disease is
part of a healing process which goes much further and includes all levels
of one's being...'
So this
attitude gave me the base together with several decades of meditation practice
not to fall into depression and still seeing it as a challenge, although
going through all the other described steps of suffering and feeling impotent
caught in a health system which can't offer any healing, etc.
But
I had the advantage not to use my last energy with being in a depression.
I used the little remaining left to do a step out of the dependency from
the medical system. I had tried enough to finally understand that they
couldn't help me in a creative way. Maybe just keep me alive for some time,
but this was not enough: I preferred to die but I didn't want to depend
any longer on a system which were treating only symptoms without knowing
anything about the cause, not even being interested to look for it. So
this situation gave me enough motivation to search myself to find a treatment.
And so I started.
For about
eight years I had suffered from symptoms of Fibromyalgia. Medical doctors
and healers couldn't find any organic cause and treated me into the blue,
with some release as long as the different treatment lasted but coming
back when the treatment stopped. But about all this I have written at my
Web site; now I want to point out what could be a key to get out of the
desperate situation when one is near to take suicide because there is no
hope and every thing seems totally without sense.
This
situation is the challenge to make a decision: To step out of dependency!
Not only from medical authorities but out of dependency in general! Well,
one will need to start somewhere. So one might start to quest whatever
shows up: any thought, anything one was told. Like: "There is no cure,
you have to live with this". NO! This is not true. But there is no use
that I tell you this, you have to find it out by yourself. At the moment
of decision you need only to give yourself a chance, just by leaving it
open to what will happen! You don't know and you don't need to know. This
is the first step and this is enough for the moment.
After
this initial step you will have gained already enough energy to look ahead
and you are open to receive some information to go on. Whatever comes,
you will need to decide, you will need to select and then to do what
feels right for you. Even if you don't know anything about medical
conditions, you may start to trust your own feelings. Worse you probably
can't get, so you may as well take the risk. There is enough valuable information
out there and for sure also a lot of traps, so in the first place trust
yourself, although being careful with it...
Does
it make sense to you? Can you dare to ask questions? Not to me or any authority,
which for sure I'm not, but ask yourself, then you will see that the answer
will show up. But without question there will be no answer. Remember: when
you were a child you were asking a lot of questions, this was a sign that
you were growing up. Then you probably didn't ask anymore, whatever the
reason might have been. Now again is the moment to grow, so...
You might
ask yourself what sense such severe diseases as Cancer, Aids, Fibromyalgia,
etc. might have. Yes, it is violent and destructive, but isn't it often
the case that destruction gives space for something new? A severe disease
is obviously destroying one's personality with all one's future plans and
self images. Maybe this is the sense? So that something new can grow, which
goes beyond the worn out and stuck form which had developed until now?
You might use this as a 'working concept' and you will see that it makes
sense after only very few experiences with this new attitude...