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Utopia in Action
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Introduction
Before
you start to read the following pages I want to let you know that I am
totally recovered from Fibromyalgia. I am sure about this because my well
being lasts now for more than a year and my energy is pretty stable and
there are no more Fibromyalgia symptoms, even though I got a 'follow up
disease': an inguinal hernia, but with this I am dealing at the moment
and I am pretty sure that I will also with this heal myself, not needing
any surgery. So I encourage you to read all about the process I went through.
I wrote the following pages during the time when I had Fibromyalgia. It
was not easy for me due to my lack of energy, but I felt that it would
be important to keep track of the healing process, so that other sufferer
would be animated to do something for themselves to be healed. So please
go on... Although in case you are looking for a quick cure, then you don't
need to continue reading. If you want to be healed, then be aware that
this will be hard work. You are not just eliminating symptoms but you will
transform your whole being: on all levels, so with this you also will be
healed on all levels. The well being of your body will be just the tip
of the iceberg...
Since
many years I am convinced that 'healing' in general and specially healing
of a disease is a process of one's individual existence. With this
attitude 'disease' turns out to be something positive and the position
of a victim changes into being responsible and motivated in one's health.
Indeed a growing process which includes all levels. Probably there
doesn't exist any disease which only effects one isolated part of the system.
So
when there are showing up symptoms on the physical level then there might
be also an imbalance of the mental and/or emotional level and probably
there is a 'push' towards a transformational change and this might be the
most significant. So the conclusion seems logical that 'healing' must include
all. Although this is obvious, daily practice in dealing with disease is
not following this knowledge. Treatments are commonly directed to eliminate
symptoms and patients don't ask and don't want to be involved in their
own recovery. It seems we still have the attitude from people of the middle
age, where sickness was seen as something bad or as a punishment for having
done something evil. Or the attitude was, and probably still is, that disease
is the result of a bad influence from outside. So what patients ask for
is just to eliminate the symptom, to be 'healthy' again and of course without
doing anything for it by themselves. People are convinced that this is
the job of the healer, doctor or the medicine. Professionals are authorities
and seen as obliged to repair what is not working well... Self responsibility
seems to be mostly unknown and unwanted. And as there are pills for every
thing, (except against ignorance! - Gegen Dummheit helfen keine Pillen!)
there for instant healing can be expected. If there is the need to fight
symptoms, then science will investigate and find something efficient which
solves the problem, and science is financed by the pharmaceutics industry...
It becomes clearer every day that this way of dealing with conflicts and
problems is not creative, because it doesn't change anything about the
cause. This shows up everywhere whenever there is a conflict: In politics
with countries, in companies, in communities, in families, in couples and
in individuals. It is the same all over: Seldom there is a search for the
reason by looking into one's own system and rarely there is discovered
the real cause. Mostly the 'bad' part will be cut out or eliminated, believing
that then the problem is solved, but the cause stays untouched and will
sooner or later trigger more problems and probably more and more serious
ones. The attitude to eliminate a conflict by treating the effected part
or cutting it out, is so common that hardly anybody is questioning it.
But the authority of doctors is fading away when we have to go through
personal experiences and must see that those specialists in treating symptoms
are more and more helpless, although covering this up with their authotarian
attitude...
Since
more than three years I have health problems which in the beginning just
were reducing my energy and so my activity but with ongoing time in a significant
degree. After an accident the severe pain continued and spread out all
over my body. I consulted several doctors and healers, each of them gave
a different diagnosis. The symptoms were: Pain everywhere, changing place
and intensity from one day to the other, in muscles, joints, nerves, teeth,
ears, eyes, head, heart, in nearly all organs. Then also muscle cramps,
dizziness, extreme tiredness, also having bad sleep, lack of motivation,
etc. I went through various treatments of different kind but without permanent
betterment. It became clear to me that medicine and even alternative medicine
knows little about the real reasons of disease, they mainly treat symptoms.
Complaining about it when visiting a medical
doctor, I was told that there can't be done anything, even questioning
my mental health by telling me that my desease exist only in my head -
offering me painkiller and telling me that I would have to live with it!
This can only say somebody who is not suffering from permanent pain like
this! I am lucky enough that I don't have deep depressions like other people
have with the same disease, due to my daily meditation practice since many
years. But now I can understand why people take suicide... Suffering to
such an extreme and over a long period of time and without hope for a change,
being left totally alone with it, this probably is impossible to take if
there is no sense in the happening because there is no understanding.
A deep depression is inevitable when nothing makes sense and from nowhere
help is available... I was lucky not to fall into such attitude, I always
had felt that help would come in the right moment and this indeed happened:
One
day I watched TV and there was a MD speaking about a strange disease named
'Fibromyalgia'
which lately is spreading out more and more. When he was describing the
symptoms I was stunned because he was talking about all what was happening
to me, although he couldn't give any explanation of the cause or give an
advice for a treatment. But now at least I was knowing that I was not alone
with my problem and I could investigate about it.
I
am convinced that behind every happening and every problem there is a sense,
although mostly hidden. We have to search for a solution and answer and
of course also do something about one's situation. This is a challenge.
So I started to investigate and collected a lot of information about and
around the subject 'healing'. During this process there were showing up
many different labels for diseases with similar symptoms: Fibromyalgia,
Chronic Fatigue, Gulf War syndrome, Candida, Listeriosis and quite a few
more. Treatments from traditional medicine were not offered except pain
killer and other chemical remedies.
Meanwhile
I was exhausted. My energy went down more and more. Maybe I wouldn't have
investigated with the same persistence if my horse wouldn't have had the
same symptoms. The vets I consulted just said that my horse has arthritis
and being that old the best would be to sacrifice him. I am older than
my horse... and the doctors I had consulted for myself were not of more
help with the difference that they were giving scientific names to symptoms,
treating then into the blue. I didn't want to kill my horse at least having
tried the best first to heal him. He is my best friend and companion during
more than twenty fife years. And I denied to give up just because he is
'useless' now because of his sickness and causing problems.
So
I was motivated to find out about it. During my investigation I got to
know about ozone therapy, which convinced
me as a treatment. My horse got worse and also myself and I urgently had
to do something about it. I found a doctor who had an ozone generator in
his practice he was using little and he was willing to treat me. After
a week of ozone treatment (daily 250ccm/52ug/cc of Ozone gas/rectal insufflation),
I was feeling much better and convinced the doctor to let me fill up a
plastic bag every day with 500 ccm of ozone gas for my horse (500ccm/90ug/cc)
which I gave to my horse then daily for two weeks. Although the ozone was
losing more than half of it's quality, because of the long way home, the
result was surprising and because I wanted to continue with the treatment
as soon as possible for myself and for my horse so I bought a second hand
ozone generator, which I found through an auction in the Internet. After
I had to wait for the shipment more than a month I started the treatments
on my horse and also on myself.
I
am a naive 'hobby-myself-healer' and know little about scientific backgrounds
of disease, but as far as my limited knowledge goes after several years
of suffering and searching, now I am pretty sure that viruses, bacterial
or fungus infections play an important part in my disease, the Fibromyalgia,
but I have still quite some investigation to do about it...
Before
Fibromyalgia was known, the doctors had told me that my sickness was Arthritis
or Osteriosis or Rheuma or just stress and now the few med. doctors who
received the information they label it with the important sounding name
'Fibromyalgia', what is nothing else than a name for a syndrome of symptoms
of what they don't know the cause. Many of the doctors still stick their
head into the sand and say that Fibromyalgia doesn't exist or they say
that it is just 'mental', not to admit their helplessness and ignorance
. - Until they might get it themselves, what I don't wish to anybody -.
But if I talk again with a medical doctor, then only with one who has Fibromyalgia
himself!
What
became clear to me is, that all those symptoms, called: Cancer, Aids, Rheuma,
Arthritis, MS, Alzheimer, Parkinson, Cardiac Infarct, Asthma, Allergies,
etc. etc. are treated without knowing the real cause. So even the cause
might be a virus infection, then I believe this is still not the cause,
because there is a reason in the first place why the viruses, which are
present everywhere and atacking all the time, can infect the system.
It
became obvious to me, that the treatment must start on, or at least include,
the cell level and not
just by manipulation of symptoms with chemicals or cutting out the sick
part. There is not much known yet about alternative treatments like ozone,
laser, magnets, sound, color, etc. probably because there are no big money
interests connected with it like with pharmaceutics, so there isn't much
propaganda done about it. But even the alternative treatments are mainly
used to treat symptoms, so there seems not to be much difference except
that there might not be side effects. Who is treating the cause? Who knows
about it?
Who
is even asking about the cause? It looks to me that people's behavior is
still the same as in the beginning of humanity when to something unknown
there was given a name of a god and then people were praying and offering
some sacrifice to the unknown, making it to something known by adding attitudes
out of one's own fantasies. Keeping it well disposed through one's sacrifice,
but in fact keeping oneself with this manipulation in a safe place out
of the reach of fear from the unknown. Has there anything changed? I don't
think so: Rarely somebody is looking for the cause of what happens outside
- within oneself. This is an attitude which is widely unknown. People still
are giving names to the unknown, without questioning it further. Then leaving
everything else to the authority of the sacrificing priest: the medical
doctor.
Here
at my Web site I will describe all treatments I am trying on myself and
my horse. This might be a long process... Of course I can't and don't want
to give any advice for treatments. I only can talk about my personal experiences
and offer a selection of information. Then everybody has to make one's
own decision out of one's own responsibility. If somebody wants to participate
in the investigation or share one's experience or give advice from a professional
view point or just from personal experiences, then this will be very welcomed
and appreciated. This Web site should be a project, which is supported
by people who are motivated to do something to find a creative solution
for their suffering and the suffering of many other people who don't have
the strength left or the opportunity to search for themselves. For comments
use the email.
Remark:
I read somewhere that aprox. 3% of the world population are suffering from
Fibromyalgia, that would mean about 150 million people! This desease is
known since more than twenty years and still it is widely unknown by our
medical system, quite estonishing indeed! This Webside was visited during
the last three years by more than one million people, probably those who
were looking for a cure, but were disappointed when they didn't find a
miracle cure and were ask to do something by themselves like taking responsibility
and initiative. - In all this time there was not even one response in the
sense of wanting to participate in a project and not one comment by a health
professional. Not even one told me about one's investigation and shared
one's experience...
I
am waiting now for nutritional supplements like MSM
and Chondroitin and also for a new massager. I think a Ozone Sauna also
should be included in the treatment, although this is not possible for
my horse. I believe to release muscle pain with the heat in combination
with ozone will for sure help. First with the most obvious and painful
symptoms and then maybe also with the cause behind.
For
my horse I go on with the treatment and for myself as well with 'rectal
insufflation' with ozone and I am trying other ways like limb
bagging or using ozonated water
and olive oil.
Some
doctors claim that intravenous application is more efficient, but I want
to be independent from doctors so I prefer the ozone treatments I can do
on myself. (Apart of the fact that with the money for three series of treatments
one can buy a ozone generator which serves perfectly for one's home use.)
One
thing is becoming clear to me: 'Healing' doesn't mean to get rid of symptoms.
Taking pain killer will give release, but will suppress the possibility
to discover the real cause for one's disease, apart of the negative side
effects, which will drive one on the long run into a negative vortex, with
the final result of total numbness and destruction.
Being
sick means that the system is out of balance and this shows up through
pain or mall function of organs. On the body level and also on the emotional
level. Pain in the 'feeling body' can be more easy suppressed and we are
all used to it and experts in a lot of tricks to escape from suffering...
What we maybe not realize is that suppressed emotional pain accumulates
and then effects all other levels, showing up as a physical disease. Or
if a physical disease is suppressed then a mental or emotional disease
might develop. On the other hand a physical sickness specially over a long
time will cause changes in one's emotions and also one's thinking. One's
personality is changing. Now I am suffering since more than three years
from Fibromyalgia. I can testify, that suffering over that long time from
permanent pain all over the body, has a strong influence on my feelings
and my mind. Often I am near to tears and my brain seems not to function
well, although I have no depressions due to the many years of meditation
I am practicing daily, but my mood often is going down pretty much and
not only this, the changes are going much deeper and are provoking a shift
of all established values.
Bearing
the pain also consumes a lot of energy and no wonder that I am always extremely
tired and exhausted and when I force myself because things need to be done,
then I am coming near to a collapse. What makes it even more difficult
is that nobody in one's surrounding can see how heavy things are and that
even insignificant requirements becoming too much. Even sound or light!
Not to be understood in one's suffering is probably the most difficult.
For sure this is the same with someone who is depressed and suffering just
on the emotional level. I am lucky that my pain is yet limited mostly to
my body, so I am not totally absorbed and there is still some energy and
awareness left. And also I can call myself lucky because there are a few
people around me who do their best to help me. I agree this is a challenge
and not an easy one.
I
haven't given up yet, I am motivated to go on and to investigate about
diseases and their background etc., to find out about the real cause. I
want to understand what it is all about. I don't care if the doctors don't
know, this doesn't inhibit me, from there I don't expect creative answers
anymore. But I am sure that there are answers. At least this is my life
long experience: If there is a question, then the answer will show up,
sooner or later.
I was told that about
20% of all patients going to a doctor are suffering from symptoms of Fibromyalgia.
So what can be done about it? Who is investigating about it? Medicine will
probably need some decades more before Fibromyalgia is known and shows
up in their dictionaries. When talking with MDs it seems that meanwhile
I know more about Fibromyalgia than doctors. - At least I don't say that
Fibromyalgia doesn't exist!
Can
we use the Internet that people suffering from Fibromyalgia might come
together to unite their energy to do something? Or are we just a herd of
blind mice? Depending on some industry who might finally see a new market
and so investigate, to launch a new chemical treatment or vaccination for
the many millions of people with Fibromyalgia. I believe that there are
sources which doesn't depend on narrow minded science and money making
industry.
There
are one hundred or two hundred million people out there who are suffering
from the same symptoms of Fibromyalgia and probably they all hear the same
from their medical doctors: 'This comes from stress' or 'you need some
vitamins' or 'you have to live with it'...
Sick
people go from one doctor and from one healer to the other, expecting to
be healed. There might be some release from pain, but it comes back and
with time passing by, the desperation and tiredness is growing. (And the
damage to the body is growing because nothing has changed about the cause!)
Isn't
it obvious that there must be another solution? We can't expect to be healed
by just letting do a manipulation whatever kind on us to take away the
symptoms.
The cause of a disease
is not just an influence from a certain point, it is probably the accumulation
of several minor influences. Looking back at my life I can say that I lived
very healthy compared to how people normally live. I started to be vegetarian
when I was eighteen, never smoked and never took any kind of drugs.
Even
though in the healthiest food there are toxins and of course it is not
possible to avoid what we breath in, the toxins from the cloths we are
wearing, the plastics we are touching, etc. So in several decades there
might have accumulated a lot of toxins .
I
am convinced that what triggered my disease are the unseen influences I
wasn't able to avoid or at least these are having an important part in
it. So in consequence it becomes clearer and clearer, that the most important
at this moment is a complete cleansing of the system. I have done a two
week fasting now with a colons
cleansing and I felt pretty good after this, but now the pain and
tiredness is back. I will start now a thirty days juice fasting and will
do during this time a liver and
kidney
cleansing. I am still investigating about the how... (Meanwhile
I did also a three months candida diet...)
At
the moment I can't do more than just writing down what I find out in my
investigation, hoping that out there are like minded searcher who might
participate... Although I am trying not to depend on any kind of personal
help. I can see that it will need a long time to come to a concrete result,
because there are too many information to be selected and there is so much
junk and spam out there...
I
am lacking energy and being alone I probably are not able to go ahead in
an efficient way, but I will do my best, because I want to be healed and
also knowing that this maybe will help a lot of suffering people...
What
makes it so difficult, is the lack of energy and that I'm feeling pretty
much lost. The constant pain I can bear somehow, but not being understood
in my intention makes that my motivation is slowly fading away. So again
I have to pull myself with my own queue out of the mud of desperation...
(I can't help it: This is how I feel although there are people around me
helping as good as they can. But this is my process and my feelings are
real even they seem not to be justified!)
I
just received a copy from a friend of an "Open Letter
From Dr. Richard Schulze on Healing and Responsibility". This writing
feels totally right to me and it shows that not all MD are the same, there
are a very few... I will investigate about it.
It
is commonly known that bacteria and viruses exist and that they attack
us and cause infections. We know that there are good and bad bacteria.
Viruses seem all to be bad. What Bacteriophagen are is not well known and
what Mycoplasmen are is widely
unknown. But I think it is important to know about it, at least to have
an idea, so that maybe we can understand that there is a cause behind all
those appearing symptoms which is invisible for us because we need to think
in another dimension. Maybe that's what we need to discover...
A
visitor of my Web site send me a link about biotoxins
which
opens a new aspect to Fibromyalgia and might help to demystify it. I am
investigating about it... My first impression is that this is the Web site
of Dr. Moneymaker who is treating in the traditional way using the need
of people... clever done without giving real information on this site...
Since
a few days I'm feeling again very bad after I thought the worst has passed.
I am taking MSM, Glucosamine and Chondroitin sulfate since two months and
also my horse and there is no doubt that it helps. I am very strict with
my alimentation and I am using various massagers on muscles and my joints.
I nearly was without pain but now I'm back to all from before although
it is less. It might be that this is a 'healing reaction' because the system
is cleaning up itself and toxins are moved...
Not
one of the many medical doctors or healers I had consulted in the past
had made a test or had investigated about the possibility that my system
is invaded by Candida.
When I searched the Internet I came to a Candida
test. I went through this and it showed an extreme high possibility
that I am effected by Candida. 140 points would mean that I am probably
infected and I had 286 points. So since two days I am following a special
diet to eliminate the Candida. And I started again with the ozone treatment
and the colon cleansing. So now all my energy goes into taking care of
myself and my horse and there is hardly energy left to write or to search
and to select the abundance of information. I read the testimonial of a
person who went through the same like me. During the last few days again
I'm feeling pretty bad and my mood also goes down, but now after reading
this testimonial
I can more clear see that I am on the right path and not alone with it.
This came in the right moment and gives me some energy to go on...
With
the various treatments I am doing I feel much better and have less pain,
although I still have this permanent tiredness and when I force myself
to do what needs to be done then I am easily falling into total exhaustion.
I started a new series of Ozone treatment, also with my horse, but after
a few days I had to stop because of strong pain in my belly. But I'm convinced
of the benefit of the Ozone and so I was looking for another way. The 'Ozone
sauna' seems to be an alternative solution. But a sauna with steam
generator costs between 500 and 2.500 US$ and this not everybody can effort.
So I decided to build one myself. This
is possible because I have the ozone generator as the most essential part.
I built the sauna within two days and this evening I had my first Ozone
sauna. I must say that I am feeling very good now after the sauna and I
will repeat it at least every second day. In my 'Sauna
logbook' I will describe how I build my sauna...
I
am now since 5 weeks with a special Candida
diet. I feel good about it although hating not being allowed to
eat fruits! I lost about two kg of weight. Just these ugly kilos around
the hips. Great, now my pants fit more comfortable!
I
was kicked out of a Fibromyalgia mailing list
and now I have no contact at all with somebody with Fibromyalgia. Anyway,
- I have not enough energy for email exchanges or to go through the hundreds
of social messages in the fibro news group. I have not even enough energy
to write to the few people who responded in a positive way to my posts
in the mailing list. I have some ideas what to do next, but I have even
difficulties to write about it. To realize something concrete needs more
strength than I have available. With this easily falling back into a negative
passive mood. I can't and I don't want to fight anymore, I did it all my
life long. I went through many phases of fighting and letting go. This
is different and goes beyond what ever has happened until now. But for
sure I don't want to waste my left energy to argue with people who defend
their position holding on to the traditional health system and depending
on authorities...
Half
a year later: I have recovered a good part of my energy and now I am convinced
that healing from Fibromyalgia is possible. (And probably it is the same
with many other diseases...) It is a slow process and it needs one's full
attention and all of one's capability to respond to this challenge. There
is a transformation involved which includes all levels and part of it is
that old dependencies must be left behind. And so it is not surprising
that I am still alone in my intention and I don't care that nobody is responding
to my Web site or to what I am writing in mailing lists. I know that I
found something which gives light on my walk... I feel like the runner
with a torch: He is just running holding up the fire he carries, ready
to give it to the next runner, - until then he is just running. Maybe he
can give some fire to somebody who ask him but then he will go on.
During
the last few weeks it became clear to me that this disease has to do with
a cause which lays beyond not only the physical, mental and emotional,
but also beyond the so called 'spiritual'. Or better said the cause is
where the 'spiritual' starts. In other words: This disease is pushing one
into transformation. I am convinced: Only
through transformation real healing can happen.
And it is clear without doubt that this process has to be done individually.
What means that one is engaged in it personally with one's own responsibility
and this also makes it that one is pretty alone with it...
Transformation
means to enter into a process which includes the whole existence of one's
individual being. All levels and all systems which belong to the individual:
Body, mental and emotions. Each of these systems needs to be transformed.
Suppressing the body symptoms and calming down the mental and emotional
reactions with 'medicine' is ignoring any growing or transforming process.
Does a patient who
is in treatment by a medical doctor is using one's mental capacity or is
there space to express one's feelings, not to mention any spiritual aspect...?
Obviously not, our established social and medical system doesn't allow
to go beyond frames of attitudes, but probably to be healed, one has to
go beyond... - leaving all (pseudo) security and authority behind.
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