Emotional reactions as daily reality
The surprising fact is, that even a person with enough knowledge and who has a lot of insights, can react and is been drawn into emotional reactions like a 5 years old child or behaving like when it happened in the time when the initial reaction had happened and had caused  a 'trauma', that means that there was established a memory structure that then in the future worked like an unconscious mirror, causing automatic reactions. Obviously these past situations need to be repeated again and again: In dreams or in daily happenings and so whatever shows up in daily life, the situations are interpreted that it gives the opportunity to be able to react. Of course with the usual attitude to give the fault to the outside and to other people. They might have caused the reaction, but were provoked in their insensitive and hurting behavior in the first place to be able to react, to repeat the old trauma... and as other people have similar needs, so it produces a common game and a real mess.
That makes the interaction, the communication and the living together of people so difficult and a lot of energy goes into those emotional reactions and then causes all those arguing, the withdrawing etc. and might then cause a chain reaction of reactions on all sides. 
There is no logic and no objectivity and talking is hardly possible. Nobody feels understood and even common high pitched goals are going down the river, because nothing seems to make sense. Pretty sad, but that is our daily reality... So what can we do? How can we deal with this?
Is there a way out of the straight jacket of our 'Personality' that is acting and reacting mostly out of ones unconscious background, with the follow-up of suffering, disappointment and desperation? Who is ready might find in the following Q & A the shortcut...

Question: How did you come to the subject Human Nature and what is the importance to know about Survival Techniques?
Answer: During thirty years of trying to form an Intentional Community, I have learned a lot about survival techniques people are using and in connection with this about human nature. After so many years being involved in it, I'm still often surprised about the many ways people are adapting themselves to different survival techniques, that are mostly quite primitive and not so different than used from plants and animals.
Plants have developed beautiful flowers with the purpose to attract insects, then giving some honey as reward for being fertilized. So in this exchange one is serving the other. 
Then there are plants that pretend to offer honey with a flower, but if the insect enters the promising fountain, then gets eaten by the plant. With animals it is even clearer: One is eating the other, which is called 'alimentation chain'. Animals have developed sophisticated techniques to trap other animals and not only using mostly their strength. They are pretending and promising with the only purpose to get what they want. Are humans different?
Obviously not, humans are pretending and lying whenever this serves to get what they want. Like animals they are not conscious about it and the phenomena is that people mostly believe in their own lies and that makes these so convincing. A salesman who doesn't believe in the usefulness of the thing he wants to sell, because he knows that it is rubbish, will not sell much even he might be a good actor and had a sophisticated sales training; people feel that he is not convincing even if he is using all kind of psychological tricks and so some will reject his offer.
Humans like all alive beings have the inbuilt urge to survive and so they use the same techniques as from the beginning of their appearance: they lie and pretend to get what they want or they use just plain strength, because they are convinced that they need certain conditions or things to survive, then using the same basic ways of all more or less primitive creatures.
Meanwhile during evolution of mankind there were established rules and moral codes, but these doesn't disturb too much as the survival techniques are mostly unconscious, although developed with sophisticated strategies. 
Modern salesmen don't  care about moral and they are using the same primitive techniques, being aware of their fake promises and techniques, pushing the right buttons to trigger desire, so that their products or services will be bought. Or in a private surrounding similar manipulations are used to get what one wants.
People like sheep follow the false pastor, because they are without direction and don't know what they really want and they let themselves be manipulated by others, then not needing to decide out of their own responsibility. There are so many games are going on like individuals and one supports the other...
Question: So how can one get out of all those games? And why should one get out of them?
Answer: One can't get out. Even trying hard, one only will turn around oneself. This is the present state of evolution of consciousness of humanity and to go beyond this condition is extremely difficult. You seriously want to know how to get out? Then study human nature and be aware of your conditioning. Find out from where your conditionings are coming from and how much this is motivating and provoking your reactions in your daily life situations. 
Become aware that you are programmed and identified with all those influences that you have made to your properties, being well established due to your identification with them. 
Become aware that you are still acting and reacting out of primitive survival needs, even though you have upgraded those with sophisticated new philosophies. Do you have the need to get out of your games? You are so used to it and it gives you the feeling of existence. It doesn't really matter if you enjoy something or if you are suffering, - important is for you that you feel your existence. The tragically aspect is that you need all kind of media, you are not capable to just be aware of your existence, between a possible experience of your pure existence  stands your personality and as you are totally identified with it, there is not yet a real urge to get out of ones personality games, otherwise you would need to go beyond and this goes against nature that in the first place is defending the established form and structure, even if it is a trap or straight jacket.
Question: You mean my personality is influenced by all what I have received from my surrounding during my life?
Answer: Not only your personality is 'influenced', - your personality exist mainly because you are identified with those concepts and your self image that has built up through all those influences. The personality is reacting like a mirror that holds those stored pictures and the stories connected with those images, forming ones 'self image'. The world and every thing in it are seen through the glasses of these pictures and reality is filtered and interpreted through this filter. There is no freedom; people are stuck in a straight jacket made out of their picture-world-personality. Humans are conceptual beings, they are not capable to relate and respond directly to reality how it shows up in daily life.
Question: As far I understand, you are saying that we only respond to what comes to us out of our established background structure, that is mostly unconscious and so we are reacting more like zombies because we are not aware of ourselves and our background. 
Answer: Exactly! You got it right.
Question: Where the need to survive is coming from?
Answer: Once a system is built up and this is valid for all kind of systems: Plants, animals, humans, organizations, groups, corporations, countries and even planets and solar systems. 
All systems have the inbuilt tendency to defend themselves to hold the form together and the technique depends on the position and condition of the system. Mostly the strength and flexibility determents the defense method. They all have one thing in common: They turn around themselves!
Plants defend themselves mostly in a passive way by developing poison, sharp thorns or a bitter taste. Animals defend themselves with aggression or the ability to camouflage and hide or escape faster than an attacker can. 
Humans as more sophisticated beings are using all these abilities and as being the 'crown of evolution' further developed methods. As their mental and emotional abilities have grown, so they use these to defend themselves in their established personality in the most sophisticated way. So they are nearly perfect in using their intellect to manipulate others, lying and pretending is part of it and as well using provocation to trigger certain emotions to have the result for ones purpose.
Question: You are talking about modern business methods?
Answer: Not only business methods, this is also the way normal people try to handle daily life and get what they want, although these methods are mostly unconscious as these are a heritage from the beginning in human evolution and before...
Question: Well, that's how life functions and indeed daily life shows that there is a lot of fake going on and people are manipulated in a very tricky way. Probably this has to do with selection. The strongest and most  clever individual survives, using or eating the others... This is nature, what's wrong with it?
Answer: Yes, this is probably the way evolution works. Wrong is just the result, as the strongest are growing to such an extend that they are swallowing all and every thing, what might guide to total destruction of humanity.
Question: The serious problem seems to be that we are not conscious about all these. We are struggling and suffering to find happiness but are getting deeper into misery, desperation, stress and disease. Modern medicine doesn't help except cutting some symptoms and all philosophies and psychological techniques seem to add just more games to keep people busy and turning around oneself as you say, but not really bringing them out of their vicious cycle. Is there no effective way to get out of ones personality trap?
Answer: Yes there is and always has been. The key is self knowledge, although this is mostly misunderstood and just interpreted as self confirmation, that means confirming ones established concepts and self-image. If one wants to get to know oneself one needs to be critical and question oneself and anything that shows up and that's then like questioning ones own existence. That would weaken ones position and that is against the bewaring and defending of ones system. that is natural and inbuilt in all systems.
Question: But to grow one needs to leave the old behind and even go into unknown fields, right? Answer: Indeed, to grow one needs to 'die', at least in parts that are worn out. The dilemma is that even things are worn out, people hold on to these and don't want to let go. They are only willing to put new layers on top of the old, like being open to receive new more sophisticated concepts to integrate them into old ones, but always reinforcing ones self image, that what you belief you are.
Question: So then what are we really?
Answer: If I would tell you, then you would reject it or if it fits into your already established concepts, then you would welcome it and make a new concept out of it. So I will not tell you, just so much: You need to find out yourself by questioning yourself, being critical about anything that comes to you from inside and outside, getting to know about human nature and so understanding yourself and the way you act and react. Becoming aware of your dependencies by observing your behavior and reactions in daily life when being confronted with all kind of situations and people.
Question: This seems to be another key to get out of ones stuck condition.
Answer: Yes, ones reactions are the key to find out about ones unconscious background on that one is reacting in a programmed way. This background structure is invisible and so called 'unconscious' but it becomes visible  through ones reactions. Once visible, one can realize this hidden structure and also see where these come from and then decide if one wants to hold on - or let go of them. So clearing up ones background and getting rid of worn out parts of ones personality.
Question: This is what modern psychology is trying to do in cases when there is too much disturbance and the individual is not able to adapt oneself to society. Then people go into psycho analyze or group therapies. This is a long process, cost a lot of money and eventually is causing more disturbance because of resistance and imbalance. What you say is that life is the best teacher if we can have the trust that whatever comes to us, is the best and most necessary in this moment for ones growing. Right?
Answer: Exactly, once this step is made and one has trust in oneself and knows that there is sense in what shows up, then we can relate to it and respond without fear or the need to defend oneself and then there can start a relationship with life that can be creative and joyful. One will get out of the vicious cycle that is causing so much stress with disease and suffering as a follow up.
By the way: There is a simple exercise that is very beneficial if one is ready and wants to get out of ones limiting structure, it is called Stress Release Exercise, that indeed is a helpful key! The advice how to do it is given for free, no money involved and not any kind of ideology or concept!
Question: One thing more: Why stress is accumulating and then causing so much suffering like depressions and all kind of disease?
Answer: Stress is caused because of the discrepancy between the established self-image in which all the concepts about every thing and all are integrated and the reality and this fact shows up in our daily life. Things are not like they 'should be' and one wants them when they are encountered. There is no real relating and responding, reality is not recognized, it is suppressed by not looking at it, ignoring it or reacting in a defensive way like with anger, these are not creative responses. With these defense reactions real growing is inhibit! All defense and holding back is causing stress that could be released by accepting what is there, but acceptance is only possible when ones self-image becomes more flexible and there is self trust growing... 
Look around: Every thing is expending into new dimensions and even a weak little plant will break the pot in which it is growing when the pressure of not having enough space becomes too strong. So if your precious-lousy personality becomes too small and rigid, holding on its limited form, then the growing force, that is inbuilt in all being, will eventually break your limitations up and let you out of your straight jacket, - if you are finally ready for it and allow that it happens, maybe by doing a step beside your personality by becoming an observer and not totally being sucked by happenings and your own reactions. All in its time and when you have - beside the stress, - have enough motivation accumulated ...