ways of survival - tricking oneself and others! BeiYin
Why people who seem to be nice, suddenly change
and show an aggressive and irrational behavior? I can observe this with
people who are divorcing, even though they separate in a mutual and friendly
agreement, then often anger comes up and they fight for materialistic things,
at the end destroying all the good aspects there have been and leaving
with hate and confusion. The same happens often when a business partnership
ends or when someone leaves a community. Hate and anger are reactions because
things hasn't turned out like it was expected and then the fault is given
always to the other, hardly with any exception!
What means being 'friendly'?
What is being 'good' or 'bad'?
Might it be that this has to do with one's need to survive? Whatever ones
behavior is, it is used to get what one wants, which is mostly coming out
of one's unconscious survival need. In the beginning of humankind probably
only power was used; who was the strongest could take what he wanted from
the weaker ones. Then over the many generations, what is called 'evolution',
behavior changed and the most clever used tricks on others. For example
pretending to be 'friendly' not having the intention to do any harm, but
then, when having gained the trust of the other, taking advantage and take
what was wanted. Then with all kind of other tricks avoiding brutal force,
but then at the end, when the other starts to defend himself, using violence.
It looks like humans of our society are still limited to this primitive
level of evolution.
Now there is the question: What is it really
people are fighting for or using their tricks to get it? The daily survival
need for having food and a shelter mostly is taken care of, but people
always want more and more. Why is this so?
In its essence it is very simple: All want
the benevolent attention of their surrounding or of the person they direct
their expression to. In its source it is the urge for 'love',
what is the magnetic, urge to come together, to unite with all other beings.
As it is pretty obvious there is a huge lack of love on this planet and
this is causing a lot of disturbance, destruction and suffering. When people
don't get what they want in a friendly manner, then after a while their
behavior changes and out of anger they start to be violent or at least
mean and showing their most egotistical side. - - - These young people
now in France who are burning hundreds of cars and confronting violently
the police, probably only want 'attention'.
Nobody ask them what they want, nobody is listening, so out of desperation
they do crazy things. Of course, the result is that the established authority
is reacting with force. If we would really listen to people who are doing
something 'bad', then they might change their 'criminal' behavior.
Society has found
ways to control the behavior of people by giving commandments, laws and
rules and punishing people who don't complete... but we can see all around,
that this doesn't really work. 'Being good'
means 'being good' and not just behaving
good. The same with all the other: 'being peaceful, being friendly,
being in harmony', etc.. If the state of being doesn't come out of
one's personal realized evolution, then the 'traditional' survival
behavior is just a varnish on one's personality and will quick disappear,
when the person is frustrated and getting into stress, because she/he don't
get what is wanted.
I still don't understand. Why do people want
absolutely that their wishes caused by concepts and self images will be
completed? Why they believe that this is so satisfying?
Because they are identified with their concepts
and images and so they look for confirmation for these and with this for
themselves. Receiving this confirmation gives them the feeling of existence.
If they don't get it then they are falling into a void and this is unbearable
and they will try to avoid this with all means. People are fully identified
with their wishes and these are mainly part of the images which come out
of society, people have made it to their own when they received their 'education'
and were adapting themselves to the common behavior, thinking, believing,
Again: there are people
more clever than others and they push the right buttons so that they get
what they want from the less clever or better said from those who are dumb
and unaware of themselves and their own games and the games others play
with them. That's called 'personality'
and this, as the only thing people know and experience, must be defended.
But isn't there a growing process happening,
in which people slowly become aware of themselves and so are able to get
out of their traps?
The mind is the most effective tool humankind
owns, but at the same time it is the most tricky and being identified with
it, they get most part of their personality out of it and generally are
not capable to observe it. Yes, people grow... although it is rare that
they become more conscious, at least not if it comes to recognize their
identification games. They grow into more and more cleverness ad that's
what they feel and believe is that this is their 'learning': first
they are the manipulated ones, then later they learn to manipulate others.
When this doesn't satisfy anymore, then they find new ideas and new concepts.
Establishing sophisticated intellectual constructions and if this is not
enough, then adding for example 'spiritual' concepts, which of course also
can be developed in an endless manner, up to the moment when the individual
believes of him or herself, being 'enlightened'.
Their personality has blown up to such an extent, that they might seriously
get out of balance if not sufficient confirmation is received. It happens
that these people do crazy and irrational things, act without logic or
moral or they try to escape into drugs or alcohol. Another quite secure
possibility is that they build groups or clubs, where they confirm each
other. When they can strive for a common goal, whatever this might be,
or they have reached the most possible power position and own all possessions
they can gather, then they are safe and satisfied. (Are they really?)...
But when their sophisticated spiritual or other concepts fail and their
personality is in danger to fall into void, then they can save themselves
by falling back into a materialistic daily life level and acting out on
others their nagging behavior and reacting and acting with their attitudes
they know well from before.
But isn't there a way out of this? There must
With what I am telling here I'm trying to
point out something which might open one's eyes. There are information
given and when one uses one's reasonable mind and is critical about oneself,
then one might see oneself in a new light. But this hardly will happen
as there is a nearly perfect functioning defense system constantly working.
- - - Meditation, Yoga, TaiChi, QuiGong, etc. can help, but not necessarily...
Then is there no hope? Is it bad to have hope?
How can one not fall into desperation and depression?
is one of the ways to survive. It is connected with an image and the expectation
to realize one day this goal. I wouldn't say that this is bad, but as I
said before: This keeps one moving and on this path one might learn...
Then maybe becoming tired and starting to be critical and questioning oneself
and one's doing... This of course will weaken one's personality, so one
will look for a way to get back one's balance and strength. And so it goes
on and on... Until maybe one finds out that in all this there is some sense
and one starts to have trust in it. One might find out, that there is a
kind of 'inner guidance' which comes
out of the 'growing force' inbuilt in
all 'beings'. That might be the moment
when this individual takes self responsibility and starts to relate and
respond out of this to whatever shows up in one's daily life. Not projecting
into the future and wanting to reach a far out goal, but right here and
now with all one's attention. Then there is no space for desperation or
depression, because 'light' is coming
through and will fill one's existence...
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