Question:
All of my life, I've been very sensitive to my surroundings, people's emotions
and the chaos that shows every where. This influences me very much in my
well being, probably too much as I'm constantly involved and using a lot
of energy to cope with situations. I feel exhausted and every thing seems
to be too much. What can I do?
BeiYin:
Maybe first we should reflect about what it means to be 'sensitive'. Every
alive system and even
more general: every existing form, probably even on all existing levels,
is sensitive against everything that might influence on their existence,
as a negative or positive influence. It is connected with the very basic
need to survive and mostly the senses are involved and through these transmitting
signals to the individual. (Later on we might need to find out what it
means 'to survive'.)
A system with less
sensitivity has less possibilities to survive. The defense reaction is
closing up a person against possible hostile influences, these might be
known from previous experience as dangerous. So it seems that this person
who has closed oneself, is less sensitive when not reacting, but probably
has just shut down their openness to receive. On the other hand a certain
openness and sensibility is also necessary to survive. It depends on the
evolution of the system, if there is more openness and so more possibilities
to survive, this requires at the same time more sensitivity. If there is
no or very little sensibility then in the same relation there are no reactions
or very little, mainly serving to defend the system.
Comment:
I feel that I don't need to express myself. Why should I expose myself
to influences not wanted? I feel sometimes lonely apart of my tiredness,
but who does not?
BeiYin:
A stone is defending itself by
having a rigid and hard structure, there is very little openness and hardly
any reactions. I guess being a stone is already the result of a reaction
that happened long before, when the system was still open and vulnerable.
There are people like stones, they became stones because they reacted to
influences from the outside and have chosen to close up, becoming less
sensitive and so can't that easy be hurt. We are surrounded by people who
are reacting similar and it is sad to watch all these zombies and insensitive
people. They are also mostly little expressive. They don't allow influences
to enter and in the same way they are not capable to express themselves.
To show themselves they would need to open up.
Comment:
That's true, I don't express myself much, I prefere to observe. Yes, I'm
somehow alert all the time, maybe because I'm expecting to be offended.
BeiYin:
But they can't, they have chosen
to protect themselves by making themselves numb, not being susceptible
and being insensitive. They might feel like victims, but they have chosen
to react like this out of their own decision, although this happens unconsciously.
Dealing with such people, - we should not forget that there are many like
this, maybe most of all humans, - so it will not help them and not ourselves
in our relation to them, if we don't treat them as sensible as we can.
If we are not carefully with them, then they will close up even more or
react in their specific way to protect themselves. We should always be
aware of this and not see their behavior and reactions as an offence. Otherwise
they will react by closing up to defend themselves. Let's stay open and
see the other person in a different light, what will allow us to respond
differently, what will open up the other person as well, at least they
have more possibilities to find a way out of their personal straitjacket.
Comment:
You mean that ones energy has an
influence on our surrounding and other people and then we receive back
what we are expressing? That's what Cesar Millan, the dog whisperer is
saying when dealing with dogs that are out of balance. That they are reflecting
the energy of their owner.
BeiYin:
Yes, we can see that sensitivity
is a growing condition on our walk through evolution and our surrounding
gives us the opportunity to look at oneself. Wanting to reduce this by
avoiding encounters, would mean to cut oneself off from an amplified life,
reducing oneself in one's awareness and most of one's abilities. When you
feel that you can't deal with reality because you are too sensitive, that
could mean that you feel uncomfortable with your own reactions arising
by encountering your daily life circumstances. You can try to withdraw
from these circumstances. Many people, not being able to avoid situations,
withdraw by reducing their awareness, manipulating themselves with techniques
or chemicals, - making themselves numb.
Comment:
I see...
BeiYin:
There is another aspect. The key
to be able to deal with our daily reality lays in our attitude towards
people and their rambling or chaotic circumstances. Why we are reacting?
Probably because we are being disgusted. Why we are disgusted? This is
our world, indeed, it is in many aspects very disgusting. That's what it
is, this is a fact and we can struggle and fight against it and feel frustrated,
uncomfortable and disappointed. We might even suffer and feel unhappy,
up to such an extent that we fall into deep depression. Why?
Because we don't feel
at home in a world of chaos? But this is our home, you might like it or
not. If you are an artist, then you are a creative person and you are capable
to use the chaos to create your own expression. Didn't 'God' create this
world and all beings out of the chaos? I am not that familiar with the
bible stuff (I'm not a Christian) but isn't it written that God made human
similar to him(her?) self? That would mean being able to create out of
the chaos something new, a personal expression going beyond the chaos?
Again: It might be
your attitude towards the chaos what makes it difficult to deal with it
and you are not yet capable to relate in a creative way. Right? Can you
have a look at this?
Comment:
Oh yes, this sounds right! I'm
Christian but I never thought about it.
BeiYin:
OK, I said that the world is like
it is. So we might as well accept it like it is and see what we can do
with it, the best way possible. Fighting against circumstances because
they are not like we want them to be, seems in the most cases a wasting
of energy. Wanting to change the world might be an idealistic idea, but
might be an escape from the inevitable confrontation with oneself.
Let's say we accept
the world and people the way they are. Not out of resignation, but with
the positive view that whatever there is, is the best it can be at this
moment. Now, with this will not avoid that we are still reacting, that
means that we will feel disgusted or what ever. But now maybe we will be
able to look at our own reaction and realize that we are reacting because
we still are NOT accepting what shows up. This is the moment when we can
make a conscious decision, because we can see that our reaction comes out
of our personal structure, programmed and conditioned from our past. Remember,
for this we need our sensitivity, so be thankful that you have it!
Don't complain that
you are suffering because of your sensitivity, this is the vehicle you
need for your journey... Is this clearer now?
Comment:
Years ago, I began meditating and it was a considerable relief in centering
myself and releasing tension, as well as a great enhancement to worshiping
and communing with God. However, meditation has always made me more sensitive
to the outside world. Although, it has nourished compassion, I find that
I get more irritated and intolerant towards outside ramble, when someone
rambles aimlessly, or when I'm in chaotic situations. BeiYin:
Meditation is important and will help a lot on the path. But it is not
an escape or better said it shouldn't be one. It is an awareness training.
You can learn to accept what shows up and this in a relatively secure situation,
so you can relax and open yourself. As one of the results you will be more
sensitive and as we know by now, this will further you on your path...
Comment:
It is not a problem when I meditate, only when I am not.
BeiYin:
Of course, because when you meditate then you have excluded the outside
world with it's provocation and reactions triggering influences. You only
have to deal with what shows up during your meditation and it depends on
your meditation 'technique' how you deal with that or not. Now when you
know that the 'problems' are problems because of your attitude towards
what shows up in your daily life and that 'problems' are telling you that
the way you are dealing with 'outside' circumstances should be checked
and maybe seen in a different and more positive view, then your 'sensitivity'
will serve you to respond in the best creative way. To further your growing
process in these daily details and will make you feel happier in general.
Comment:
There are several protection techniques that I know, but none have seemed
to help.
BeiYin:
It seems to me that you are protected from a higher level against those
'protection techniques'.
You don't need any kind of manipulation to protect yourself.
That doesn't mean
that you can't choose where you go and with which people you are encountering.
You don't need to share your time and space with somebody you don't feel
comfortable with. Right? Take care of yourself but you don't need to 'protect'
yourself. You are protected, trust yourself!
I hope that this can
serve as a 'stepping stone' and helps you and others to do the next step
with eyes more open...
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