Disease is a challenge and an opportunity to clear up ones whole system on all levels.
Being responsible and consciously taking part in one's healing and growing process. -
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BeiYin: Disease is the condition when symptoms are showing up telling that the system doesn't function well. This is seen as bad and one want to get rid of it as fast as possible, but without asking for the reason of disturbing symptoms and not asking why something doesn't function. People expect that 'health professionals' fix the problem and eliminate the disturbance. Medical doctors do this by prescribing chemicals and other kinds of treatments, mostly by manipulating the system. There is no engagement from the client necessary and not ask for. If pharmaceutical treatments doesn't help then surgery is the next available solution. In our society disease is seen as something bad and is caused by outside conditions and influences. A sick person feels as a victim and sees no connection between the disease and ones life style, behavior and all what is part of ones personality. Each individual is a close system, wanting to stay untouched and keeping all what is established as tight as possible together, changes are not wanted. The whole society supports this and also the established health system that is part of it.
In the holistic view healing is seen differently and disease in its root cause can be understood as the intent of the body system to release and balance accumulated toxins and tensions.
Stress is caused because the individual with ones established self image that contains all those concepts, beliefs, opinions, world view and more, is clashing against reality of daily life's circumstances. The personality is constantly reacting although mostly not being conscious about it. Disappointment and frustration produces tension and that accumulates in the body, mostly in muscles and these are connected with the nerve system and the brain. The system needs to release tension and one common way is to use ones emotions and react whenever this is possible, often with anger and aggression, using people and all kind of circumstances. But this kind of 'stress release' doesn't really work even though most people are using it. This established behavior 'game' causes more frustration and tension than it can release. People want to be confirmed in their existence, but they can't get this in a positive way when they provoke others reacting negatively. Actually they want confirmation for their 'property' they have gathered in the form of concepts, ideas, knowledge and their self image.
Comment: Did I get it right that you are saying that disease is caused by accumulated tension and not by influences coming from the outside?
BeiYin: Tension is effecting the whole system and is causing weakness and malfunction on all levels. Tension continues to accumulate constantly and finally disease is showing up, with many names for different symptoms. With this the medical system is giving the impression that there is knowledge and also about the cause and how to heal it. They have established the position of authority. People like to be told what to do, then they don't need to take responsibility for themselves and they don't need to do anything by themselves to maybe change their life style, behavior, world view or do something to grow up and awake from their zombie like dream state.
Comment: We are programmed in our society to succeed in life, defined by the accumulation of accomplishments by materialistic success, job status, security, etc. that creates our personality. Human nature in each one of us forces the survival of one's being, by finding food, shelter and all those basic needs. Then we are programmed by society to continue the accumulation of successes/personality at all cost to our whole body and mind. We believe that our body and mind can go on forever and each one of us is the exception to the rule. Everyone plays the game of life that builds our personality.
BeiYin: We know that anger and all negative emotions are self-destructive, so it is not surprising that when symptoms are eliminated, that then soon another disease is showing up, because the root cause is not treated and healed. Disease is not understood as a 'healing reaction' of the system and when this intent to heal itself is cut then the process is blocked, with serious consequences...
It should be clear that healing must include the whole system with all levels and healing can only happen through 'growing' and that means that one becomes aware of oneself with one's limitations coming out of ones established concepts and ones self image. The learning field is daily life when one observes oneself and one's reactions and recognizing one's background from where these are provoked. Then 'growing' can happen and so also 'healing'. Disease can be seen as an opportunity to grow when understood as intent of ones system to heal itself.
Unfortunately this goes against human nature represented in 'personality' and one will only understand and be able to do steps, when one is ready, - after walking a long road of suffering, then finally wanting to look and work on oneself...
Question: How did you come to these insights and the knowledge of human nature?
BeiYin: When I was recovered from several years of Fibromyalgia I wanted to share my experiences with suffering and desperate people who all were told from med. doctors that there is no cure and that they have to live with this disease for the rest of their life. Knowing that there are about 200 million people with Fibromyalgia and all in a hopeless situation, I thought that those suffering people or at least a few of them, would search for a possible healing and would be open for information, but I was wrong.
There are Fibromyalgia support groups, but 'support' means that they confirm each other in their suffering, but not looking for ways to heal or wanting to do something about it by themselves. When I joined several of these groups to share my experience of being healed from Fibromyalgia, then I was kicked out, banned and found myself in front of closed doors, even before I could have told anything. I was quite surprised about this phenomena and searched about this strange behavior.
It doesn't astonish me that in many groups there is a lot of aggression. The anger people are carrying with them, probably their whole life, has accumulated to such a degree that every opportunity is just right to let out as much as possible. For this serves best a newcomer who is not joining the common game of confirming each other. On him they can all throw their dirt and mud and have a kind of fun. Does this give a release? Probably not, but it will make their feeling of togetherness stronger, as they have defended their opinions and images.
These strategies are used from early days of mankind, - nothing has changed. There were always people eliminated, with reason or without. The 'bad' must be projected to the outside and then be destroyed. This common habit comes to a point where the destructive energy turns against the individual itself and is destroying from the inside. It is the individual's rigid way to relate to reality or better said: not to relate. What means dealing with daily life how it shows up, that is so much different than one wants it, because of ones established world view and self image. This discrepancy accumulates frustration and aggression. The stress level goes up causing that the symptoms of ones disease get worse...
One of various reasons might be that Fibromyalgia is caused just by this vicious cycle of holding on ones self image and reacting to reality. The healing process might start by questioning oneself and by observing this defense behavior. To do so one doesn't need to go to special places or deal with certain people. Just what shows up in daily life will be enough. Indeed I learned a lot about human nature and I thought about possible ways to reach people in spite of their defense.
Now when four years had past I tried again with one of these groups to share my healing process, but the same happened: I was kicked out after three days, even though I was very careful...
Comment: Being sick with a low energy level doesn't make it better at all. Depressions are the normal state when being so sick and then all self esteem is taken away... And it is understandable that people are in a constant defense and not open for anything else than for something that comforts them.
BeiYin: The lack of energy, the high pain level, feeling left alone, not being understood by one's surrounding not even from people near to one, the total insecurity, not being supported by the medical system, the brain fog and loss of memory and all the other symptoms of FM are making an impact on the personality which is hard to manage for the suffering person. Where can some security and calmness come from? Surely only if one is capable to go beyond one's personality and then finally real healing can occur. At least this is my experience. Here I also see the creative solution for many other diseases if not for all and even not yet having developed a disease, but feeling miserable, alone, sad, desperate, having all those symptoms, many people are developing in our society. To clear up ones personality and going beyond the worn out concepts seems the only real healing way...
Comment: That sounds logical and not too difficult. We know that people are not very aware of themselves and to brake out of the vicious cycle of confrontation with reality and stress causing reactions is extremely difficult. There is just too much that doesn't fit into people's dreams. The trick is to be able to balance our unique personalities in life to our whole body and mind to insure there is not a rapid decline of our body and mind. This balance is very hard to gauge since each one of us is so different. Do you see any way to make this process easier?
BeiYin: I have been in a similar condition when stress was caused by expectations that my reality should be in a certain way and then dealing with the dilemma that this expectation didn't meet what I encountered in daily life. This creates stress, but mainly because one does not want to deal with it and tries to ignore it, - brushing it under the carpet...
I think it will be easier when people understand what's all about. When they understand human nature and themselves as being a part of it. Then they can observe the frustration that accumulates, even in daily life of a 'healthy' person with the normal stress level and people can observe in others and themselves the urge to find release and that aggressive reactions often are used to find a release and this even more in the life of a person with FM with a stress level which is unbearable, feeling miserable, alone and help and hopeless. There is not always the opportunity to be able to react to find release. (People who are taking care of sick patients can tell about it...) So then no wonder that an Internet group gives an opportunity to do so. And it is easy: From home, safely sitting behind the computer. There are always opportunities one can jump on someone and a newcomer who is not part of the 'family' can serve, especially if he posts something that doesn't fit into the common game modus. There is no need to prove or even to read a post carefully, it is enough if one of the group throws the first stone... And they will all join if the newcomer dares to point out this game! This is a common behavior in nearly all places in the Internet.
Comment: To deal with reality one encounters is not just a 'simple juggling game' manipulating situations and conditions. Most of the expectations are unconscious and influence from the background of one's personality. What can one do to break through this unconscious behavior that causes so much suffering and ends up with disease and too often in early death?
BeiYin: One needs to know what these unconscious programs are and what has caused them. The only way is to observe ones reactions when these are showing up. The unconscious program only can be seen in ones *reactions*, not only with words and emotions, but within all our existence - what means also when our body system reacts. It goes through all levels and depending how much and how rigid one is identified with one's images and expectations, the whole system is reacting and suffering. The caused stress is accumulated and the tension not only sucks quite a lot of energy from the system, but also is damaging the whole system up to the cell level. Pretty clear that the 'juggling' can't work on the long run.
You ask me about a solution? The long way is our suffering. Going into situations again and again, reacting, rejecting, defending oneself, escaping, pretending, etc. and going to the next similar situation probably repeating the same behavior, reacting in the same way, all what one tried before. And then trying to avoid such situations. Indeed, there is very little 'healing' in it and it will need a long time to come to the moment of getting too tired to continue with this game.
Comment: But doesn't there exist a kind of short cut so that one doesn't need to go through such an endless road of suffering?
BeiYin: The short cut is to confront whatever shows up, what does not mean to fight against it! Dealing with it by relating to it, being aware of one's reactions and also relating to these. Then maybe sooner or later also being aware about one's background, realizing what had caused this specific structure of one's background. Being aware of it one can make a decision, staying with it and keeping it or dropping it and letting it go. So freeing oneself from dependency and traps. With this also loosening up one's tensions, so calming down the stress situation and then releasing it...
Does my writing tells something that lets you understand part of the confusion? Cleansing or clearing up seems to be the most important. On all levels. This is my intention, in this I want to give 'support'.
Comment: What about the established ways in our society to deal with the dilemma of daily life reality? This problem exist already as long we can think about...
BeiYin: There are two established ways to deal with the conflicts showing up in daily life. One way is to find a better life fitting philosophical or other concept than that we have received from our parents and from our education. Together with this we might find attitudes and behavior, adjusting them to our personal needs and then trying to live it. So that one can complete and confirm ones established personality. This will create frustration and suffering because we will still need to fight against outside reality, that is so much different of what one desires and frustration and stress is the inevitable result.
The other way is to go inside - questioning oneself and finding the understanding about ones nature and then searching about the right way, - out of feeling responsible for oneself and ones action. Then one might find the trust in oneself and from there also the trust that whatever happens is just the right thing for one's development, that we can call our 'growing process'. Whatever circumstances occur, these are just right that one can be in charge to relate to them. With responsibility as good as one is capable. Then there will be no frustration or if there still is then one has ones awareness as the best tool to deal with it. - Relating and responding in a creative way and this is the basic field where true healing can start - which then includes the whole being and not just parts.
Comment: Maybe there should mandatory education classes for children through senior citizens for ones personality. Education classes to show how personality clashes against the reality of daily life circumstances. Knowing the consequences of one's personality may help people decide to alter/gauge their personality to maintain/maximize an equal balance between personality and whole body/mind.
BeiYin: The fact is that clear thinking and consequently clear actions are hardly possible. The 'attitude' of a person is something that is not just located in one's head. It is the result of many influences a person has received during the life. People are their 'personality', they are totally identified with it and there is no need for them to do anything about it, so they will reject any influence and for sure don't want 'education', not for themselves and not for their children. Yes, all is connected with one's brain, but also with one's emotions, it is even engraved in one's body posture up and down to one's cells.
Comment: I am putting more effort than ever into being comfortable in my own head and looking inside myself for validation and not my personality by definition. If only society would teach us to balance or to be prepared for life gradual/unexpected changes earlier in life.
BeiYin: To change one's attitudes and state of mind is not easy, because the behavior of a person is part of one's personality and the personality don't want to change, it will do everything to protect the momentary state, so there is no change wanted and even clear information how to get out of one's suffering will be rejected. And also society will do everything to hold on its established state of being and for sure will not give any education or teaching beyond this.
What can cause changes in this strong defense system? The simple answer is and I have said this already several times: Each of us individually will change in confrontation with reality, - sooner or later. If one is suffering then because of the discrepancy between one's wishful thinking and daily reality. The result is stress, suffering and finally disease, this is forcing change...
It is not easy to accept one's reality if it is so different from one's self image and what shows up. And it is so difficult to accept one's suffering. But accepting what is there might be a first step in one's recovery. If one has suffered enough then there might come the moment when one's defense is loosening up and then it might happen that questions appear, even with the risk that the answer can be uncomfortable and not really wanted.
Comment: I am realizing everyday that to step out of the mainstream of authorities and to take self responsibility is a blessing. I also realize that this change is not easy and requires work and discipline, and the same amount of dedication that I gave to my career.
BeiYin: Recovery is the result of hard work: Going beyond one's rigid self protecting world view, leaving behind pseudo security and other substitutes. This is a long process and in the beginning painful, but - it is a healing process and at the same time a growing process and probably the only possible way to really become healed and whole.
Comment: Older people are so wise and very interesting to listen to. I began to enjoy conversations with older people when I turned 45. I was mostly captured by their journey and view of life and how they must feel and see the world, as a much older person.
BeiYin: Probably everybody needs some kind of 'counseling', not from a professional, but from daily life with all its happenings, we do need people for this and they will show up. If we are aware enough and not just defending our position, then each encounter will be an influence in a creative way and opens us up for insights. This can happen with a person we meet in the street or anywhere else. An Internet group could be a special place where this learning is easier because of the intention to find a solution for a common challenge or a disease.
Comment: I'm interested to know more about the nature of 'personality', there are different ways people react to the same outside conditions. Does this depends on the personality type?
BeiYin: The nature of 'personality', like all established systems, in general is to survive, defending the momentary state of being - all means are right for this. The individual's choice adapting oneself to different ways of defense, depends on the 'type' of personality. One might prefer to escape, to attack, to use tricks and manipulation, or one's charm, etc.
Comment: I understand that ones personality and the defense of it are causing stress and tension with the result of developing a disease, probably where the body has a weak part. Once there is a disease, could this mean that then the defense of one's personality is getting weaker and the person is more open to look at oneself?
BeiYin: Disease has an impact on the whole system on all levels. With the result that there also are reactions on all levels. The defense continues including manipulation oneself with medication. But as we know: It doesn't cure and it helps only to reduce or eliminate the reactions, so called 'symptoms', that are 'healing reactions'. The personality is suffering, being left alone with it. Finding little support in one's desperation and pain. The impact on the personality is getting stronger and stronger as the disease is spreading out over the system. It seems the personality is deluding. An empty space is opening up: A frightening void... Then indeed there might also happen an opening up and questions might come up, but this is rare, until the individual gives in, gives up and surrenders... Then there might come help. Not that it appears from nowhere, - it has been always there, just the individual was not open for it. 'If there is no question, then there is no answer!' Now there might come up some questions and with this for sure the answers. This can happen if there is not the rigid attitude any more to defend the worn out state. But it is astonishing: Like a dog defending an old bone that has nothing edible left, so people doing the same with their old habits, attitudes and self image. If the individual is ready to let go the worn out self image and property of mind and emotions that does not serve anymore, then the truth about oneself and what goes on with oneself shines through and healing starts...
Even though this happens, it is extremely hard to deal with ones new reality of being in a kind of void, because one is left alone in between the followers of the old social and cultural belief system. But at the same time dependencies are loosening up and new freedom is felt. This gives energy in a way how it was never felt before. One is able to do steps that were unthinkable until now. Indeed one has entered one's 'healing process'! And with this the disease is diminishing because the base has changed... One starts to heal the root cause!
Comment: I am becoming aware in this moment, that I'm still clinging on my old concepts, even though I have updated them with a newer version. I sense that I need to go much further and leave all this behind. I sense a new horizon, but I don't know yet what is expecting me... I'm still dealing with my momentary state being a 'personality'.
BeiYin: What comes to me, what happens to me is the consequence of my conditioned existence. It is the feedback my 'personality' receives because I am acting and reacting as an alive being out of my specific structure. I am not a victim - I am causing it. People are trapped in it because they are unconscious about it and turning around themselves, looking for faults mainly on the outside, projecting and fighting against their projections. Being involved in a game that is common and rules life and in this one finds self confirmation and a kind of satisfaction. People are suffering because there comes the moment, when things are not going the way one wants it, going on and on, fighting and struggling.
Comment: I really hope that I have left this behind me, it is more as if the memory of my old state of being still holds me. I feel reduced in my strong self confidence, somehow it is smashed, but at the same time some weight that I was carrying with me for a long time is gone. The outside reality and myself seem to come together in a smoother way, - that feels good.
BeiYin: The reality and the personality are like two millstones in a mill working against each other and there is no doubt about it that both will get worn out after enough grain has passed. Any strong personality, in spite of the perfectly built up defense, will be reduced if not smashed. If this doesn't happen through being beaten up from daily life then through a disease, a personal loss, a bankrupt, etc. It should be clear by now that it is NOT the personality type or the background, but just the personality in it's existence, rigid and limited, separated from the 'whole'. Personality anyway is an illusion and nothing else than a conglomerate out of images, concepts, beliefs, identifications, projections, wishes, mind and emotional properties and other crystallized downloads... Built through one's history from education, property of thoughts and feeling. All were confirmed by ones life experience..
.Comment:. Yes, I can see that relating to my disease in a different way and also to happenings that show up, brings me into another dimension and I can sense that there I find a new way to deal with it and heal myself.
BeiYin: The 'personality' is the primary reason for any kind of disease even for most 'accidents'. People - because they are their 'personality' (what means they are totally identified with it) - are looking for and so finding the reason for whatever in the outside.
It is the most natural that the personality, like all systems, wants to survive and so it is holding oneself together with all 'property' and is defending oneself against all influences which don't give confirmation.
Even a person with a strong defense will suffer and have stress and becomes more and more rigid. This is using up a lot of energy and accumulates tension. Sooner or later it manifests on the emotional, the mind and the body level.
Comment: Now I can see clearly that all my occupation about the details of my healing was still a part of the game keeping my personality busy, so I didn't look at the more important issues, - at the reason laying within myself and doing something about it.
BeiYin: The need to hold oneself against anything that might reduce one's personality is causing a lot of stress. If a person has to be alert all the time and on top of this is suffering from serious pain and lack of energy, then the defense system is easily over reacting. What includes not listening and not wanting to understand. Then every thing is just too much.
I went through all this and I know how one feels. Then there might come the moment when one just want to die, this might be the crucial step to go beyond one's personality and start a new way, by being critical and questioning oneself. Often then comes help from 'outside' and if the person can drop one's defense for a moment, then there might come in some 'light in the darkness' and with this a completely new sight....
Comment: This gives me confidence to go on, but at the same time I feel myself as very fragile and like walking on water. Ha, - now I understand the meaning of the story when Jesus was walking on water, now I can see it...
BeiYin: Fragile circumstances are not the reason why people don't take responsibility for themselves and are not able to make decisions to change something in their behavior, lifestyle and attitudes. They are just not able to see that difficult circumstances are a challenge to confront reality and the challenge includes themselves.
Protection is available for people by giving them some comfort through convincing concepts, keeping them in dependency. Manipulating innocent or ignorant people is a common habit in this society.
Comment: Yes, I never could understand why people with the concept of 'eternal love' could go and kill each other to fight for the interests and property of a party that was believing to have 'God on their side'.
BeiYin: My writings are not about my 'beliefs' and not about concepts or a theory. What I am expressing comes out of my experience. I want to share the way I walk the road of life. It is not a specific road that has to be taken. It is obvious that your mind functions differently because you are still influenced by old patterns and there is no way to make you understand. I can say that as a result of the way I am walking came the healing of my Fibromyalgia and also recently from an inguinal hernia. This is not a belief, this is a fact. Probably it is not possible to believe this because it doesn't fit into the authoritarian knowledge of the established health system and one will look for reasons to undermine what I say or using blackmails to demonstrate that it is not possible to believe me. I am not going to fight against those manipulations, which seem to be a common way to get rid of influences that are not welcome.
Comment: I agree that there is a lot of 'political' manipulation going on and that includes influencing ordinary people like you and me, using our vulnerable conditions and our survival needs...
BeiYin: The different ways we defend ourselves is only half conscious and mostly unconscious. It is the same with one's need to be confirmed in one's existence or all the other needs being part of the survival game. I say 'game' because it all turns around one's personality and is not really necessary, it only creates problems.
The self image of a personality adapts itself to circumstances and includes all attitudes to be able to survive. As the image grows more complex supported by the property of one's mind, gathered from one's own experience and those of many others, the defense becomes so strong and sophisticated, that nothing can really touch it. (The newest high pitched concepts coming out of the New Age are an example... Followed by Ike and Tolle.)
But then there appears a disease slowly but effective breaking down the personality defense and all established concepts...
Comment: That what seems to be so strong will break down... And I can see now that this is the false and fake image that was created of oneself, separating oneself from being in direct contact with ones being and the creation around.
BeiYin: The healing process is like a puzzle with many pieces that must come together. One's attitude is one piece and this appears by itself in the moment when other pieces are coming together. Of course the attitude is changing within a process that is a healing and growing process. So the change is appearing by itself, without effort as coming out of the growing. Like a blossom is opening and becoming a flower, this must not be 'done'.
It is hard to stay in a positive attitude when this comes out of a concept and is not grown out of a healing and growing process.
Comment: I can see you as a teacher and sense that you are what you are teaching, out of your own experience and realization. I feel being able to trust you and doing what you tell me to do...
BeiYin: I'm not a teacher and for sure not an authority. I have no title or diploma. I don't pretend that I found a way to change people's attitude. I am offering a key that you can heal yourself, but it is nothing else than a key. You are the one who has to use it and it needs your decision and the full cooperation with yourself that you can use the key to open yourself. You are the one who has to change your attitude, this is one aspect of the key and with this you can open the door or the window so that light may come in. Not only light but also fresh air, that will help your breathing and will give you new energy.
I repeat: 'Healing' doesn't mean to get rid of symptoms. Disease is the reaction of the system that is out of balance and tries to find it back. Seeing disease as something negative and feeling as a victim, not asking oneself for the cause, doesn't allow to work in a creative way on one's healing. The 'attitude' is an essential basic step to enter a healing process...
Comment: I am very content and thankful that you opened my eyes so that I can go on with an understanding of my position. You are a good teacher... and what you say and write really helps me.
BeiYin: What I am writing and speaking is coming out of my experience during my life together with many years of meditation and gaining self knowledge. I know what goes on in daily life because I am living it and I went through Fibromyalgia for several years, - there is no theory about it. Yes, I have gathered some information on my Web site, but I have avoided any theories, so most of it can be used by anybody and without side effects and mostly without cost. But it needs self responsibility and some remaining energy to make steps towards self healing and the step to get out of old tracks of thinking... For sure I'm not going to push anybody - it's up to you...
Comment: You mentioned meditation and the 'StressReleaseExercise' that you are teaching and that can be part of the cure for ones disease.
BeiYin: Meditation is not a cure for diseases, but it can prepare and maintain the base to enter into a healing process. I am convinced that meditation works for everybody, but of course it has to be practiced and if somebody has a certain resentment against meditation and will not do it, then it can't help.
We are limited by the same that give us a kind of security, not allowing to be open. We chose influences that confirm us and we reject everything else. First comes the tendency to save and protect one's existing, there is no real openness, this is just part of the 'beautiful' self image one is holding.
Comment: This leads back to your statement that one will not heal without healing the whole body, mind and personality.
BeiYin: One needs to go beyond all concepts and also that about 'healing'. It is not possible to 'heal personality', this also exists only out of an image fed by identification with concepts, beliefs, opinions, world view and one's self image. Here we find the origin for what we call 'disease'. The health system as part of the social system eliminates disturbing symptoms by manipulating the personality's vehicle: the body, but without touching or wanting to change anything about the conductor of the vehicle. But the conductor is the cause of the disease! Isn't this ridiculous?
Our goal in life - as I see it - is to grow towards a goal we don't know yet. But we can trust that our life is a progressive growing process, which includes all happening within and around us. Having this trust we can see things differently, attitudes are changing. Disease is part of a healing process and not something negative we must fight. Embrace your disease and become friend with it...
Can you open yourself for this view? Just give it a start! Then you will not feel as a victim anymore... and it will allow you to search for new ways, - to heal yourself.* * * It will be important for me to receive your feedback, because I want to get to know in how far what I have written here is understood or not. Then I can continue differently...
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