Being Overqualified for Life? BeiYin
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Early this morning I brought somebody to the airport, who came three days ago from Australia, because he was interested to live at FalconBlanco with his family and wanted to get to know the place and the idea in practice. When I had picked him up at the airport late in the evening, I had told him something about the transit situation at the moment at FalconBlanco, but not too much as he was tired from traveling and I thought that there would be enough occasion later. The next day I was occupied and could not talk with him. During the dinner the talk went around food like always, but I could at least tell a joke in between... The next day I watched this fellow talking with people at FalconBlanco, but he didn't talk with me. After dinner, people sitting there in silence, I asked if there is something to say: a question or suggestion. "What kind of suggestion?" Somebody asked. "Any kind", I answered. One guy said that he would like to take an ozone sauna the next day. I said OK, I would prepare his sauna. "Something else?" No answer. So I left.
The next day the guy from Australia told me that he would leave the next morning. So when I brought him to the airport I talked with him:
Me: If I would have known that you were only staying for three days, I would have talked more with you.
He: I had planed to stay three months.
Me: So then why you are leaving after only three days?
He: Well, I have no expectations, but I know my wife has.
Me: And now after a few days you are sure that FalconBlanco is not possible, without even knowing much about anything here?
He: I talked with several people here...
Me: But you didn't talk with me. Not one question, even when yesterday I had given you the space. People who want to live at FalconBlanco should be at least that much mature that they are able to express themselves and ask some questions. You are insecure and afraid, I don't know why. You say that you have no expectations, that for sure this is not the case. You are afraid to express yourself and you are pretending and then pointing at your wife. So what kind of expectation has your wife?
He: She expects a certain standard.
Me: You mean that she has a normal consumer attitude and wants a normal life style?
He: Not exactly, but yes, something similar.
Me: Then what is your wife doing apart of taking care of her child?
He: She is a teacher, but she is overqualified, so she has no job. She is working in the garden.
Me: I mean does she express herself in an artistic way, does she make music, does she write or something similar? Is she interested in social, political or spiritual issues?
He: Yes, she likes to listen to music.
Me: That's all she is interested in?
He: We are working the whole day on our land, its pretty big and just maintaining the place is a full-time job.
Me: You are saying that two people are working the whole day for the food of two and a half persons? Or are you also selling some vegetables?
He: Yes, more or less, but we have no license to sell, this is too expensive. We give only to friends something of it.
Me: So then you have a similar situation as we have at FalconBlanco: The place is too big and to maintain it, there are needed two people. They could grow food for twenty people, but if there are only four or five living here then this doesn't make sense... Now I have learned out of this that the next time a couple is interested to come, then I will insist that they fill out the info form each of them. With this you could have avoided the effort to come here, as I would have told that this place is not right for her and also not for you as you are in such an unclear situation.
He: There are also problems with the school, because the english school in Ibiza is charging 4.000€ a year for each pupil and that is too much.
Me: This is a private school and they have to pay their teachers, etc. It might be too much for you, but this school exist since more than thirty years and has quite a number of pupils.
He: There is also the problem that my wife wants to stay in Australia because she receives some money from the government, but I want to leave because I can't find a job as I am too qualified in my profession and the government doesn't give me any support paying some money.
Me: Now this gives a totally different picture of your situation. If your wife wants to separate from you, then it is understandable why you are so insecure and can't express yourself. FalconBlanco can't give you any help if you are not even asking for it and not having enough motivation and energy to search for a creative solution.
So this was more or less our talk on the way to the airport. We said good bye to each other in a friendly way and that was it...
Today I was reflecting about this happening and then I saw my own 'overqualified' position. My qualification is not ask. People seem to be afraid of me, they don't dare to express themselves. Why is this so? I don't provoke people. If somebody comes to talk with me I'm always open and I'm listening, except if somebody wants to draw me in one's games - whatever kind. I stay calm and friendly even though I participate little in the daily talk about food during dinner, I'm not getting angry, like I did twenty years ago, instead of this I'm telling a joke or an anecdote about my life. Really I don't know why people are afraid. Do they somehow feel that I am 'overqualified' and would like to talk about something more essential?
Why I have absolutely no problem when talking with all kind of people outside of FalconBlanco? Doesn't matter who it is: Workers, tourists, policemen, owners of companies, bank directors, women or men. I haven't had the occasion to talk with politicians or with the King, but I guess the spontaneous contact would be the same. And it is the same with animals like dogs, cats, horses, etc: There is mostly a spontaneous contact and seldom they are afraid of me. Then why it is different with people here? Cannit verstaan! Well, there are known reasons for this, but I am interested to know about the unknown reasons. Might it be that my own expectations are still present in the background? I am pretty sure that I have dropped most of these about people, not to be disappointed again and again, facing reality of human nature and it's limitations... But I need to find out more about it. I don't want to live like this: Being overqualified and so having nothing to do in what is most important for me...
It's clear that I'm not talking about any profession and making money with it. I'm talking about my existence: my essential existence. What is one's qualification to live? Is there a minimum to be able to live? Or is it one's qualification which makes the quality of one's life? For me it is like this: I see myself as qualified because I am aware that being alive is the most essential and for this it is not possible to be overqualified. People believe that their life is gaining more quality if they are adding all kind of things. It might be the contrary: All those things make them forget that living and be alive is the most precious! Society has put standards what kind of life filled with all those indispensable things are worth living and if someone doesn't own these, then life has less quality and is not worth living. It is incredible but even all those Christians who should know it better, fall into this diabolic trap. Yes, it might be that I am overqualified because I am aware of these dirty games, from society and from individuals who join these games. I don't participate and this makes people afraid, they sense something unknown. On one side they feel attracted, but on the other side they don't want to know about it, so they don't touch anything which might come near to the subject, so talking about food is the most secure subject... Of course eating confirms oneself and makes one feel alive and so does talking about food! Oh boy!
Update: Seriously: What makes people afraid? It is the unknown - that what can't be put into boxes. This creates a kind of void, a vacuum in which people feel uncomfortable. This must be avoided and so people give it names, labels which sort things into the right drawer, there it can stay safely, not been touched anymore.
In my case they do the same, at least they try it, even though it doesn't work. I am not playing the role of a guru or a leader, I'm just refusing this. Yes, I can teach meditation, because I have more than fifty years of practice in it. I can teach EFT, every body can do this, having understood the principals and having some experience with it. I can talk about the right alimentation, about Ozone and several other things, but I am not a health professional and have no license of any kind. So I am not an authority! And what is the most disturbing: I ask people to take self responsibility and make their own decisions. That indeed is an impossible demand and let people be in an highly uncomfortable situation. People are used to depend, they are used to do what they are told. People are not free: "Freedom is, where's nothing left to loose." People have too much to loose: Their self image, their concepts, their dreams, their wishes, their expectations, their beliefs, their attitudes, their properties, their strength, their weakness, their diseases. With all these they are identified and all this makes up their personality. There are the many games to get more and more, to fight and to defend, to conquer and to overpower others and so on... Who is asking them to drop these games, to go beyond into unknown fields, is a danger for one's more or less well established security and it is better to avoid such a crazy person who is obviously overqualified for the demand of normal people...