are all liars, pretending for survival BeiYin
If we observe nature,
that means plants, animals and ourselves, then we can see that to lie is
a natural attitude that serves in the first place to survive. For example
certain plants have a dangerous aspect but don't harm, they might have
a bitter taste but are not poisoning, etc. The same applies to animals
who often pretend to be something that they are not. And humans?
Since we have religious guidelines that probably are the cause for what
is called 'moral' and out of this results guilt feelings and new kinds
of lies, since then our behavior, our doing or non doing, our feelings
and our thoughts are categorized into good and bad. There are implanted
goals and images, as to how somebody must be in order to become the perfect
and ideal person, to be rewarded from authorities during all one's life
and from god after one has died. What a long story of manipulation, still
going on! -
Humanity has tried
to free itself, but has fallen into all kind of traps. There seems to be
hardly any way to get out of it. -
We are all liars.
This is built into our structure. We are not aware of it, because pretending
is a natural behavior and this is sophisticated through our 'culture' and
covered with various layers of varnish, to fulfill common images and self
images. To give sense to one's life and offer the vision of 'higher' goals.
The intention seems to be positive, but what comes out of it is the need
to lie and pretend even more.
Is there somebody
even being 'spiritual', who is not pretending? Not initially through their
expression given to the outside, rather every body is pretending to oneself.
They all want to complete a certain image they have of themselves, they
call it 'self realization'. They believe they are on a 'spiritual' path
and they argue about it and go into endless threads of spiritual nonsense
or high pitched intellectual ejaculations. Is there much difference? They
are all pretending and they all are looking for confirmation of their self
Or is 'spirituality'
not a way to survive?
If a person believes
to be in a growing process, then this process can only devellop in a conscious
way, when this person has realized that he/she is in a game with oneself,
by lying and pretending, trying to hold on a certain self image. If this
step of self knowledge is not realized, then all one's effort to be 'spiritual'
will only be a 'turning around oneself'.
I am not saying anything
against the fact that people are liars, I am not judging at all, our sophisticated
lies are just the result of our cultural development and the way we personally
survive , that's part of our evolution as humans and shows in our daily
I am not going to
convince anybody of anything, but it could be possible that there are a
few people who really are looking for a solution and a way out of this
constantly lying, that has brought us to the point that our systems may
soon break down, personally, socially and on a big scale. But it seems
that there is hardly any information available to get out of this dilemma.
What is offered from ruminants of various belief systems, is to convince
seekers into a specific belief system and trap them into being followers,
devotees and members.
I am not offering
anything to survive, not even a technique, a method or whatever. I am not
pretending to save someone, not even to make life easier, at least not
before certain natural structures are cleared up...
I am not even pretending
to have found something that I can give to you, at least there is nothing
with shape and tangible form to give you security. So what?
Now you might have
made the serious decision, as an honest and consequent seeker of truth,
to abandon all lies and go to the bottom of your existence. Even with the
danger of losing all that you have gained in so many years of investigation
and immense effort to collect information, knowledge and wisdom.
What I am talking
about here you will not like. Because it is touching your fragil security
you built up during all your life and you are holding the image of your
personality as some thing precious and of course you don't want that this
is reduced in any way. You don't want, but what happens in your daily life?
You have organized every thing as good as possible. Does it really work?
No it doesn't. You are a 'strong personality' and you are used to fight,
but again and again there comes the moment, when you get tired of all the
resistance of people and their ignorance and again and again what you carfully
have constructed is collapsing. Something doesn't work... You realize that
the reason might lay in your expectations and you want to change something
We can make a decision,
but can we jump over our own shadows?
Of course not. Because
we are identified with our self image and with what we know, it is an integrated
part of our personality. There is no way to just leave it behind, no decision
will make this happen. The built in defense and self containing mechanism
makes it impossible to abandon even an insignificant part of what we are.
We are using some effective suppressive techniques and ways to cover that
which we don't like or want at this moment, so that it may stay under the
surface of our awareness. But can we erase it from of our existence?
During the last two
generations they have developed a number of methods to work on these fields
of personality. Mainly to repair and balance extreme distortions and bring
the individual back into a normal life functioning, because of one's adaptation
Manipulation is combined
with gaining some kind of self-knowledge. During the last twenty years
more impersonal aspects integrated with the psychological work, eastern
relaxation techniques and meditation found their way into the consulting
rooms of mental doctors. Workshops and seminars have become parts of the
lives of growing numbers of people and during the last years the offer
combined with integrated spiritual aspects have boomed.
Although the consuming
tendency is present and still dominating, the need for this kind of work
shows that there is the urge to go beyond consumption and the needs of
Without doubt psychotherapists
are nearly as stuck as their patients. But it happens, that they help to
free some patients from the eggshells behind their ears. (I have often
wondered how it is possible to clean something with a dirty rag. I am far
from comparing a psychotherapist with a crummy disgusting rag, but I am
Well, the answer is:
It is because whatever shows up in one's life, we can use it for our development,
i.e.: our growing process. If our personality grows, then we certainly
don't need to worry about it, we also will grow beyond ourselves.
There may be just
one condition with which this can happen: Our creative attitude. Is this
possible or not, because of our narrow and limited personality, which is
in the first place interested to save oneself and to enrich oneself, but
only with the same stuff and in the same way as it is used?
As long as we are
stuck in our games of self images and pretending to be these dreams, we
may not even be able to start to make the first step out of it. We may
at least need to look through the keyhole of the door to freedom.
Is this possible?
It seems that we are
falling easily into the traps of the many techniques offered on the marketplace
of psychotherapy and pseudo spirituality.
There is a key to
this door, and we don't need to ask anybody for it or to pay for it. We
all own this key because it is offered freely to each of us:
life itself. The way it is, and it comes to us, to each of us.
Exactly in the right way, in the right quality, and quantity! This means
that everything in our daily life, whatever this may be: persons, happenings,
circumstances, encounters, reactions, etc. can be used to grow. Again:
the condition to make this key work, is that we look and take life in a
creative way. This may be possible when we accept things as a lesson, which
doesn't mean that we take it with the attitude of a victim. We need to
relate to what shows up and then we can make our individual decision.
I admit, this is not
that easy, especially when somebody is suffering. Even then, it is possible
to make one step beyond, or at least beside, and not be pushed down into
the attitude of a victim.
We are indeed the
rulers of our own lives, if we are not sucked by those multiple games of
personality with all its lies and pretending. But to be able to rule one's
own life, there may be a long way to go. Let's make the first step, although
this is further than the first step on the moon...