The story of my intention to establish an 'Intentional Community'...

As long as I recall I've had the idea to live in a community of 'like minded people' or better said 'kindred spirits'. When I was a child I drew pictures of places and as a student of architecture I designed round houses for community living. After that for the next fifteen years life took over with family, business, profession, etc. until this was over and I was 'guided' to Ibiza. A friend had invited me to visit him. He gave me his old car and I was driving all over the island, exploring all kind of hidden places. I came to an abandoned finca with a ruin of a farmhouse on top of a hill. Beside the ruin there was a round place they had used to grind their grain with a horse. As an architect I was used to measure things. So when I walked over the round place I realized that it had exactly the same diameter as the round house I had designed as a student. I thought: Well, why not? I can push down the ruin and build the round house. I sought out the owner of the property and bought it. Three months later I came with my horse, two dogs, two birds and three chicken and moved into the only room of the ruin which still had a roof. It was raining and cold and it was dropping through the roof, the only dry place was my bed... This was quite a difference between the luxurious house I was living in before, but I was happy to come nearer of the fulfillment of my dream to build a community and this seemed to be the ideal place. 
So I started to repair the roof. The farmhouse was about 800 years old and built out of stones and wooden beams, which were pretty rotten. So it ended up that I had to build a new roof. I had thought to push down the ruin but instead I rebuilt it and added several round rooms... I was busy for the next two years. I built a big swimming pool and drilled a well, made a stable for my horse, etc. 
In those days the people living together in a kind of community were mainly hippies, but I was not interested in this kind of 'lifestyle' and so I was pretty alone and isolated, not even being able to talk with my ibicencan neighbors because of language problems. What could I do to find like minded people? I wrote articles and announcements in alternative magazines and then some people were showing up who wanted to live in the country side, in nature working with earth, etc. But these people from the city had their expectations and beautiful ideas and when it came to work then after ten minutes they dropped the tool... 
The next few years I organized therapy groups and all kind of other groups and it was quite successful, but this wasn't what I wanted because I was still alone and had to deal with all these more or less neurotic people. 
Meanwhile I had build several apartments and could host about 25 guests. I had built a hot water system with solar energy, an organic garden, etc. But still there were no people who were interested to live permanently in an 'IC'. People were coming and going as short time visitors, mostly being more like on a vacation. The years went by and there was no real change with people. Some were staying a few months, but mostly the experiences were ending in disappointment if not in a disaster. 
There were times when we were living with more than twenty people together. Yes, we had fun, making music, meditating together and even getting done some practical work, although it wasn't effective. Later on the work was pretty well organized and with relatively little effort the place could be maintained. We were doing some recycling and some gardening, making organic compost and we had everything we needed. Sometimes there was building up a group which gave the feeling of a real team, but people were not staying. There was too much fluctuation, causing stress and energy loss. A few people were showing up who were seriously interested in an 'Intentional Community' and also seemed to be capable, but they left to make their own IC. I haven't heart of one of them who succeeded, they all gave up after some time... For more than ten years I am trying to find people through writing in the Internet but with very little result. I have installed my own Web site and invested a lot of time into it. People still are coming and going. The only difference is that years ago people were staying a few months before they found out that their expectations were not fulfilled, then during the following years this time got shorter. From months down to weeks and then it happened that they left after only a few days. We tried to avoid this by having people fill out an 'info form' with a lot of questions and sometimes we had also a long email exchange, which for sure filtered out people, but even though this doesn't avoid that people coming with a lot of expectations which then are not completed because reality is always different... 
What is it people want? This is a beautiful place in the middle of unspoiled nature. With enough space for every body. With the freedom to do what one likes to do. We are not a sect. We have no dogma or rigid rules, although we are against the consuming of drugs and alcohol. Of course there is some daily work to do, but this can be organized in a way that everyone has enough free time for oneself to do creative things. There is plenty of food and anything one might need. So what is the problem? Might it be that there is too much freedom? Might it be that people want to be guided? That they want a leader? Or a strong concept? Finding their security from a belief system? This is not given: There is no leader and no religious or spiritual concepts. Obviously people don't want to be responsible for themselves, they prefer to cling on authority and want to be guided. So if one wants to have a successful community then one must offer this. One can organize workshops, retreats, seminars, etc. and one must charge a lot of money for it, then one will be successful. If things are given for free, nobody will be interested. Being creative is a nice concept, but you have to tell people what to do, if you leave it up to them then they will feel lost and leave... 
Not dealing with money just irritates people and they can't deal with it. We never charge money for anything and don't deal with it. We can show people how to survive without money only doing things which are necessary and one likes to do. We have the proof that this works, because we are living like this for many years, but people are so stuck in their way of life that they are not able to enjoy freedom, they need to cling on their pseudo security. So now after thirty years of trying, we are near to the point of giving up. This happened already three years ago when I was fed up and wanted to give away the whole project. I wanted to give away the place as a present to somebody who would like to take over, but nobody was interested. They probably thought that this was a joke, like the story when somebody was trying to give 100$ bills to people in the street and nobody wanted these. 
Meanwhile I was busy with a personal process of healing myself from Fibromyalgia (see details at: http://falconblanco.com/health) and so I continued with the place. At this point we have reduced our work to a minimum, so that we can manage, but the place is too big and still needs at least three people more. We have several new projects to which we can't give enough energy because there is too much work maintaining the place. For us this scenario doesn't make sense and if nothing changes and no people show up who are seriously interested to stay here as permanent members, then for sure we will give up. Is there anybody who might be interested to live with us? 
I do not complain: In these thirty years we learned a lot, although we paid for the lessons: I have hardly any friends, I was robbed and betrayed, my nose was broken and people tried to kill me, the last time they nearly did it, only a miracle avoided it, but I was sick for several years. I could have lived quietly without any problem if I wouldn't have the vision to realize the idea of an 'IC', but do I need to drop the illusion about it? I am tired now and in a way I have dropped it already. We had contact with a few people who tried the same and they gave up after a few years, being bitter and disappointed then not wanting to see anybody ever. That's not really the case with me, even after thirty years although I am tired and would like to be alone, I still like to be with people... 
It seems to me that people are not ready to live in an intentional or spiritual Community. There is hardly anybody who is able to go beyond one's personality and this seems to be necessary to form a community which is based on self responsibility and awareness. Of course it is a learning and growing process, but without a certain creativity which comes out of an already gained level, the living together of people seems not to be possible. So you will understand that sometimes I ask myself: "Goodness, what are we doing here? How long will we be able to go on? Shouldn't I retire, sell the place and just enjoy the rest of my life?" But when I look around then I also think: "There needs to be done something, this world is a disaster..." So what? 
One thing more before I will shut up for a while: I love not only animals but also people, even though people create problems and conflicts, but this will not stop me from going on with my intention for a while, to do something for a change, if not in this IC then in another way - at least as long as I am able to walk, to use my hands and I am able to think and express myself.
BeiYin

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