Images

Quote: "Zen is a loveless path." BeiYin: Where ever you get your information from, it is obviously not out of living experience. Your statement about zen is wrong. What you say is a tricky half truth. Indeed, zen is free of what you call 'love and light', because this is your imagination, born out of desire, the personal need and longing for it, but far from realization. You can't hear any message which tells you something not fitting into the picture of your imagination. There is very very little truth on the Net. Most of all these plenty words are written by those people who are looking for confirmation of their 'truth' which is a composition of traditional and personal image. People are trying to live this 'truth' and fighting to realize it in their life. 'Truth' is not more true because many millions have the same illusion. Nobody wants to hear something about truth and reality. It is pretty sure that nobody will respond to what I am writing now, except with angry reactions. Like you, you will probably not listen to me now, you will ignore me, that's easy, you only have to push the delete bottom. If there is anybody who is really interested in a discussion about this subject, don't hesitate to post your comment or write to me directly. Keith: It was a great shock to me recently, when l was compelled to reassess my understanding of love. With 37 years behind me, and many love affairs, with many years investigation into the nature of my being, l was sure l had known love as much as any person had. I know in fact nothing of love, as l look back into past relationships, that much is certain. My relationships have been borne from so many other things, my wants, my needs, my insecurity, feeling incomplete, searching outside of myself for completion with "the other", fear of being alone, desire, and so forth. Now love is such an impossible thing to describe, to put into words, the essence of love has never been captured in the history of mankind in words before, no definitive description exists. Love is, like god, an experience, l have never really known, in fact as l examine my great loves, l can find many things that are not love, many things that are in fact the opposite to love. How easy the mind/ego becomes involved, how often l have deluded myself that l knew something of love. It has been said "the proof of the cake is in the eating", christ said "you will know them by their fruits", and this means something to me, l have been in misery and pain, and bearing only thorns and barbs. My mind has an understanding, an approximation of love, but this is only an idea, this is not the experience itself! Physical attraction l have known, psychological love, l have also known in fact it is the only "love" l have known, and psychological love is of the mind, it really has nothing to do with the essence of love, which l have yet to experience, though l feel it hidden deep within me somewhere. l have read so much about love, l know with my mind, much about love, but it is not my experience. I have worn so many masks, covered my ignorance with logic, with my mind/ego, afraid that it would be discovered that it was all a dreamlike performance. I admire people who give authentic expression, because within me l have so little authenticity, and so many faces l have that l have completely forgotten the essence of my being. When l see how an "osho", a Christ, a Daila Lama, a Buddha behaves, how they are, l see everything that l am not. They have no false masks, they have no ego standing in their way, they have mastered mind, such great compassion, every simple action every person they meet, whatever they do, is done with such respect, such compassion, such love, their whole lives are such beautiful songs. I look at myself and there is such intolerance, such ego, so much struggle, and swinging from joy to agony, from pain to pleasure, and disrespect for myself and others, lack of consideration, lack of compassion. In seeking to escape pain, l have created so much of it for myself and others. Whatever l have understood of spirituality, of god, of love, l have done so only with my mind, it has not been my experience. Many little awarenesses l have come to, and they have made big shifts in my life, many little things l have understood and experienced, but the essence of love l have missed while sleeping in the mind. I feel l have resisted the essence of my being, because l have become over attached, over reliant on the mind/ego. I have been afraid to surrender to love. The nature of mind/ego is selfish, and that is how l have been, the nature of loving is giving unconditionally, without attachment out of pure joy, they are opposite poles. l draw my only consolation from the discovery that l know nothing of love, in that l am at last aware that l know nothing of it. It is only a small awareness, but l will watch now, watch the way l am relating to life, and trust that the experience will become available to me from being aware of how badly l have missed. Keith Comment: BeiYin: There are very few posts like this on the net. Authentic, serious and ongoing...  "...but I will watch now, watch the way I am relating to life..." Posts like this make me feel that I am not alone in this world and that there are indeed other people out there seriously searching to find a way through the chaos.

index discussions  |  email for comments  |  index FalconBlanco  |  index BeiYin's Poetry Page  |  index Health page  |  Peace page