How to not identify?  Betsy

I can see that the false 'I-world' seems like it goes on all by itself.
A certain stimulus will set off a chain reaction. Say a person walks
by me, and I have certain programmed ideas about this person having
to do with my personality. Just seeing this person will set off
thought/feeling reactions with an overlying theme, say: 'I don't like
this person'. When I step back and see these reactions and what I'm
thinking it is just ludicrous, yet I also know that it is me. The
other day in my meditation, I heard myself saying what
I was going to think or see as a visible reaction, before I saw it. I
could come to no other conclusion than that I was creating this
thought. Now I see it more, I hear myself 'thinking' it and then I see
the 'thought' echo. So without command central it doesn't look like
thinking takes place. So also it must follow that personal
reactions and diving into the personal reacting world are avoidable
simply with a command to step back. This is what I see more now with
meditation practice, that when you're getting immersed into this
'thinking' identified mode, you can notice it, step back and
give the command to watch your breath. Amazing that alone. Then there
is a place in meditation where there is no thought reactions and it is
just being, but also there seems to be the capability to ponder by
asking a question. Is this what useful thinking is, or using
one's brain as a tool, beyond identification?
Okay, so I see that while sucked into this chain reaction mode, all
received or expressed is filtered through whatever is the provoked
reactionary theme. So this is all images and colored reality and
doesn't touch what is the truth. Seeing as far as I can tell is
stepping back from out of this mode and looking beyond identification
to one's thoughts and feelings. But the problem is that this stepping
back is hard to do when I'm not in sitting meditation, and I'll be
identifying without realizing it until I've said something that I know
came from that mode and then (too late) I'm reminded. How
is it turned on (or should I say off) right now, in the present? 

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