The Secret Key to get out...   
Imprisoned within myself - but what is 'myself'?
This aging body can't be all - week and fragile
even though my fantasies go far out - limitless 
finding it's border in my inboxed mind frames. 
Emotional freedom - a dream of lifelong longing 
what are my feelings? Reactions of love or hate.

Driven by likes and dislikes, fed by common goals
what is what I really want? Is it just happiness? 
Or is it that I want to feel alive, more real - now.
I need proof of my existence - more and more!
So all what I do: My self expression, my reactions
serve to make me feel myself, - my unique being?

But who is reacting? I'm aware of the me behind?
Who needs these games of confirmation of oneself
being identified with all these common concepts
created believes and blown up self images for all.
Who am I, a slave of adapted fabricated pictures,
finding security by following the herd of ignorant?

The market of substitutes offers all kind of it: 
Power of money comes first, one has to fight for,
surrogates for freedom - illusions of satisfaction. 
Stimulation, excitement or calming into numbness
all is available as drinks or pills - instant happiness.
No danger to wake up, daily life keeps us all down.

Work, mortgage, family,  sex life, health problems 
all sucks and keeps one fully occupied and busy.
What key could there be to get out of it for good?
I don't trust all those promises of salvation around
just serving similar manipulation games to trap all.
If there's a way to get out - this I want to know.

First I will find out about myself: My human nature
around and within myself, all so well in common goals.
Then being aware that the need for property reigns
finding my satisfaction by being identified with it all. Defending one's world view and what is owned. 
Established concepts - blinders not to see the key.

Do we really need attention provoking others around?
Being nice and pretty or bad and ugly depending 
on one's good or bad upbringing and personal history.
Do we depend feeling well on how others treat us?
Children in bodies of grownups, insecure of ourselves
seeking constantly confirmation for our existence.

The owner is owned by one's property, possessed.
I will drop luggage from my bend back, free myself.
Being aware when reacting out of defense, step back.
The need for survival is inbuilt since prehistoric 
covering all fields of existence without exception
so being alive - one wants to feel even more alive!

I'm aware of existence - every thing else is surplus one still can enjoy without getting sucked into stuff. Relating to this very moment and to what shows up responding out of my existence, the best I'm capable not yet knowing my mirrored  background structure observing myself critical, clearing happens: The Key.

BeiYin
24. 7. 06
 

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