No Short Cuts...

 Turning around ourselves
 dazed, insecure and lost
 looking for signboard of directions
 erecting visible landmarks
 marking claims of property
 imagining valuable goals
 we are turning around ourselves

 Suffering from fathomless longing
 restless, dissolved in wishful doing
 trying to fill up penetrating emptiness
 fighting against misty shadows
 defending our nebulous identity
 gained through thoughtful feelings
 still turning around ourselves

 Hungry and thirsty for fulfillment
 trying to satisfy our senses
 discovering sophisticated lust
 using manipulative practices
 stimulation to intensify  identity
 ups and downs of emotions
 void still doesn't disappear

 Finding what makes us feel good
 what gives comfort and tranquility
 holding onto those experiences
 cultivating beautiful fantasies
 new promising fields open up
 finally being able to survive 
 from nasty daily confrontation

 Being without expectations and wishes
 seems to be the way of not being hurt
 but can I hide myself by not relating?
 Isn't this a 'spiritual trick' to escape?
 Will not this kind of non-responding
 provoke ongoing reactions of rejection?
 Will I be pushed into total isolation?

 What is it that I am really longing for?
 Years of loneliness were passing by
 all striving for self confirmation failed
 all received has never been enough
 stimulation of senses turn into boredom
 satisfaction seems unreachable
 external search is turned back on me

 Could it be, that I am the spinning wheel?
 Until now lost in most outside movement
 coming nearer to the secret counterpoint
 it happens that excitement disappears
 vivid silence fills my heart and head
 the outside world's reflection seems to fall
 into the eye of my personal hurricane

 BeiYin
 15. 7. 1999


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