Thoughts about Trust BeiYin> It's true that not all people are trustworthy. But it is equallyThis sounds like a tricky advertisement of the 'Fraud & Crook Association'.
> true that many people can be relied upon, and that our very
> lives may depend upon our ability to trust.
Without the naivety of people to get their trust they wouldn't be able
to land their next coup. They are professionals and they use with purpose
sophisticated manipulations, pushing the right buttons to appear trustworthy.
Why are employees in shops and ware houses are advised to smile and be
friendly to customers? Because if somebody is friendly then more likely
one can trust them. Isn't this naive? Don't we tell our little children as soon
they can walk not to go with a friendly person even if they were offered sweets?
But how a child can not trust somebody who is friendly and gives them sweets?
There is created a conflict that will stay probably for the whole life.
Observing nature and its creatures, humans included, one can see that all
are using all kind of tricks fooling their surrounding to get what they want.
There use 'friendly' ways by pretending and promising something the other
wants or is in need of, to find the trust and then using the openness to
grasp from this person or forcing the other by using power or psychological
tricks for one's own benefit. The best trap is the one with the most attractive
We are taught that betraying, pretending, lying , stealing, doing selfish things,
being lazy, etc. is bad, but we were not taught that all these are natural and
coming out of the survival behavior of any kind of living system. These behaviors are
inbuilt and we are not even conscious of it, especially now knowing that this
is 'bad' and we are feeling guilty when it shows up that we do all those
things, so we need to hide it and pretend that we are not like this, we need to
pretend that we are 'good'. So we are going from one lie to an other... What a
There are cultures in other countries were cheating others is absolutely not bad.
If you buy something, then you know that the other wants to cheat you and so
you need to go consciously into this game and try to get what you want the
cheapest possible. If you pay what the other ask you for then you are seen as
stupid. Even here in our culture it becomes clear that it is not possible to trust
any body or any thing which is connected with money. Do you think one can
trust politicians? For what they are using the power you give to them? Do you
think one can trust banks? If you say yes, then this tells that you are hopeless
naive. Do you trust the medical system? Do you trust authorities? Then you
probably are just not informed enough and you prefer to stay naive and innocent,
having no doubt about the established system, so you can trust and stay in a
somehow comfortable feeling.
> our very lives depend upon our ability to trust.
This is true when we are little children and the ability to trust is established
through the harmonious relationship with our parents, although this can easily be
messed up because this relationship rarely is perfect. But what has hopefully built
up is the self trust. Yes, in our childhood we were depending on our parents and
even they might have been bad people, but they also had the nature given
instinct to take care of their children as good as they could, this just comes out of
the survival need of the species otherwise the species wouldn't survive. So the
personal needs are somehow suppressed.
> It requires some trust to leap into a new relationship, a business
> venture or an unknown future. Trust is needed to allow others to
> hold us up. It takes trust to jump.
No, it doesn't need the naivety coming out of innocence and ignorance to go
into a relationship or to make a business, this kind of trust will result in failure.
One need to know the possibilities and the rules, one need to be aware of
one's own needs and the expectation that these might be fulfilled by the other.
Trust into another creates dependency, falling back into childhood conditions.
Yes, there might be situations when I don't know the result but need to
make a decision, but then I don't need to trust an unknown person. If there
is no other choice possible then I can go into this situation by trusting myself
within this unknown condition. I can trust that if I am in this delicate situation
and I need to make a decision then I trust that this will be the right one and I
accept what ever will come out of it and I trust myself that will be able to deal
with it and learn from it.
> Will you risk the fall by trusting others? It can be worth the jump.
NO, I will try not to depend on others. If there is no other choice after having
tried to find my own solution, then I trust myself and the situation and the
outcome of this, ready to pay the price.
OK, I can put the responsibility for my existence into a higher instance and
just accept the dependency, that might be easier, but I am convinced that we
all are in a growing process and growing up to be an adult means to take
self responsibility and get out of dependencies. So I reject all these games
and prefer to deal with reality, what means to learn about my nature and not
to live concepts of any kind just because they are a tradition. Where did these
concepts come from? Why should I trust them? 'Because they were given
by authorities? Oh boy!
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